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Ah. So she had seen through that.
I snorted, wincing a little at the words about to come out of my mouth. “It’s hard not to feel useless. To try and figure out who I am, or… find my place.”
“You’re the centre of this pack.”
“Oh no, that’s you now,” I said.
She considered me. “I don’t…” She swallowed. “I don’t know who I am, either,” she whispered. “I never… never got my memories back. I don’t think I ever will. It’s like… I’m… no one.”
“Shatter…” I stared at her. “You truly believe that?”
“I have no memories?—”
“And I have all of my memories. Of school, and friends who never saw me for anything beyond a bank account, of nights getting drunk at bars because I didn’t know what else to do with my time, or what I wanted from my life. Of a father who turned out to be a monster. I have a lifetime’s worth. I have all of that, and I am stranded. But you—you are the most fascinating person I’ve ever met,” I told her. “You know what you love, what you want, and what you love you are good at. You fight for your dreams when a thousand others would have given up. And you aren’t just caring and protective over the people you love, you’re brave, choosing to face your monsters when no one would judge you for running—what more to a person is there?” I asked. “Nothing that could be found on a piece of paper.”
She stared at me, and even through the bond I felt her stunned silence.
“I intend to follow you around like a lost puppy so I can learn some of your tricks.”
A smile wobbled on her lips, though her eyes were still dazed, as if she were still trying to untangle what I’d said.
“Until then, you’ll let me help you save them, so I can feel like I’m doing something. You tell me what you need, I’ll do it. Anything.”
“You should be studying Arkology.”
“Anything but that.”
Her smile widened, and I drew her into a kiss.
“Are you ready to go in now?” I asked.
When I pulled away, she looked anxious again, eyes darting down to the ball below. She nodded, still tense.
“What is it?”
“You said I was brave.” She swallowed. “That’s not true, I’m… I’m really scared of them.”
I knew that.
I’d been in her nest nearly every night this week. She had nightmares, her breathing picking up until I tugged her into my arms and purred for her. She hadn’t even woken up.
I drew her close, my voice a whisper just for her. “If you weren’t, Little Reaper, then it wouldn’t be called bravery.”
THIRTY-SEVEN
SHATTER
Entering the ball with Ransom was one of the most unnerving experiences of my life.
I’d never felt so many eyes on me. Eyes that lingered in shock, as they met mine, and then widened some more as gazes trailed down to the bite on full display on my neck.
For one wild, brief second, I wondered if anyone had seen us on the balcony. I looked up and was horrified to see that it was really quite visible. But then a nervous giggle bubbled up my throat. Spotting Ransom fucking me on the balcony wasn’t going to be anyone’s takeaway from tonight.
No. It was mine. Another thing I could claim while they were all focused on the things my pack would never let define me.
My neck and eyes.
At first, there was a stunned silence. All I could hear were the musicians playing and my own heels clipping the marble floors. Then I heard a crescendo of whispers rising through the air.
