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He nods. “The Cadells lied to them, telling them they were selling drugs that could give people in chronic pain their lives back, failing to mention patients could become easily addicted. They also lured reps in with parties and money. Reps who sold higher doses of their drugs got bigger bonuses.”

Maybe Cristina’s mom learned about this after she married William Cadell Jr., and they were worried about her speaking out?

“They got some doctors on board with monetary bribes and lies too,” Jay continues. “When these doctors’ patients became addicted to TriCPharma drugs and begged for more prescriptions, some doctors behaved unethically—some even traded sex with patients in exchange for more pills. And the good doctors who tried to speak out against the dangers of TriCPharma drugs were threatened, and their families were harassed, so they stopped.”

My mouth goes dry. My palms feel sweaty. It may be too dangerous for me to pursue this. Maybe I should let the criminal justice system try to work. There are charges against the Cadell brothers now. Maybe, for once, justice will prevail against this family. But I also know that courts move slowly—not quickly enough to help save Mom if she’s still alive and the Cadells are after her.

“Do you know what’s happening with the current charges?” I ask Jay.

“My buddy that testified told me that for the first time, the Feds have incriminating emails acknowledging that the family knew their drugs were addictive, which in theory should be a big deal. But, sadly, I don’t have a lot of hope.”

“Why not?”

“Historically, the government has squashed prosecutors who try to go up against TriCPharma. They’ve always allowed the Cadells, both the brothers and their father, when he was still alive, to settle by making them pay small fines, giving the false illusion of justice when it’s less than a slap on the hand for these guys.”

As he’s speaking, I realize something isn’t adding up. If the Cadells have influence over officials at the highest levels of government and have been able to get every lawsuit ever brought against them effectively tossed, why would they careabout my mother, a random woman who supposedly died decades ago?

“If the Feds have concrete evidence that TriCPharma knew its drugs were addictive, why would the Cadell brothers care about my mom?” I ask Jay. “Even if she’s still alive, what could she possibly know that would top that?”

“Maybe it isn’t something she knows,” he says. “Maybe it’s something shedid. She might’ve crossed someone in that family, and they’re out for retribution.”

“But in college?” I ask. “She was a theater major in the Village. What kind of trouble could she have possibly gotten into involving TriCPharma back then?”

“Maybe it wasn’t during college. Maybe it was after, like you said, with her patient Margot Cadell. It doesn’t matter when it happened. If your mom did something to piss them off, they won’t stop until they find her. She’s a loose end that needs to be tied up. And just because she got away before doesn’t mean she’ll be able to this time.”

He bites his lip awkwardly, like he wants to say something but isn’t sure how.

“What is it?” I ask.

“I’m not sure what your situation is … your personal situation.”

He’s referring to whether I’m with anyone, like he is, married with kids.

“If you have anyone special in your life you care about, and you pursue trying to find your mom, you won’t be the only one at risk. They’ll be too.”

I feel my face go white. “But … not if I keep my distance from them, right? I’ve already planned to stay away until all this is over.”

Jay shakes his head. “The Cadells have a history of going after families, Beans. They’ll stop at nothing to get what they want.”

CHAPTER25

February 1998

THE NIGHTEMILYdied, I tossed and turned in my bed, unable to sleep. Something was stirring inside me, a sense of unease that I couldn’t pinpoint.

Kyle was still stationed at our bedroom door to ensure I didn’t exercise through the night. I finally sat up in bed and asked him, “Can I call my dad?”

When Dr. Larsen asked me earlier in the day if I wanted to call Dad with the news of Emily’s passing, I’d said no, because I wasn’t sure how he would react. A part of me worried that if he found out, he might use her death against me in the future to remind me that if I didn’t eat, I could end up like her.

But now, something was beginning to bubble up inside me, and I felt the need to call him.

“It’s after hours,” Kyle said. “But you’ve been through a lot today. Come with me.”

I got out of bed and followed him into the nurses’ station in my pajamas. He picked up the receiver from the phone on the wall and handed it to me. I dialed Dad.

“Hel-lo,” Dad answered, clearing his voice. My call had woken him.

“Daddy?” I said.

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