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This is my last chance to escape. There’s got to be an employee inside the store that could help me. But they won’t be able to hear me if I kick and scream inside the car; the impostor kissing Ivy, who has a gun, will.

My best bet is to open the car door and make a run for it. With my hands tied, my feet are my only option. I lift myleft foot, trying to kick off my shoe so I can use my toes to open the door, but the shoe won’t come off.

I try bending my ankle on the ground, using the carpet as leverage to get it off. It’s the same ankle still sore from when I slipped trying to chase Cristina Cadell out of my office. The car’s rug burns against my ankle. The shoe about halfway off when another car pulls up next to ours.

The driver gets out, and I gasp. It’s Special Agent Jason from the FBI.

Oh God, he’s in on this too. He surveys the station, glancing over at Ivy and the impostor still kissing next to the BMW, but doesn’t say anything to them and walks toward the store instead.

He steps inside for a moment but then quickly exits, approaching Ivy and the impostor, showing them his FBI badge.

Wait, so heisn’tin on this?

I start kicking and screaming to let him know I’m inside the car. He registers the noise, pulls out a concealed firearm from his pants pocket, and runs toward me in the car.

“HELP! HELP! HELP!” I keep screaming.

Ivy and the impostor jump in her BMW just as PJ walks out of the station, holding a pack of gum in his hand and popping a piece in his mouth.

“They got an extra tire—” PJ calls out to them when he sees Jason with his gun drawn, moving around the car I’m in.

PJ runs to the BMW and jumps inside, barely making it, as Ivy and the impostor peel away.

Jason quickly turns in their direction and fires a couple of shots toward the BMW’s tires, trying to stop them. The sound moves through me like a violent earthquake.

But it’s too late. They’re gone.

“Help!” I scream again and again.

Jason returns to the car, carefully casing it, listening to me scream in the back seat, before moving to the frontdriver’s side, unsure if anyone’s there because of the tinted windows.

He tries opening each door handle but they’re all locked, so he bashes the driver’s side window with his gun. The glass shatters, pouring into the front seat. He looks in the back seat and discovers me alone with my hands tied.

His face melts in relief. “You’re safe now,” he says.

“But you’re not,” I whisper.

CHAPTER46

September 2012

AFTERDAD DIED, I struggled. Coming to terms with being parentless was overwhelming, and I knew I was at risk for relapsing, so I went to biweekly therapy sessions and two different eating disorder recovery groups.

I also threw myself into my work, building my private practice, spending time with Jay and his parents, trying to keep myself busy.

Jay and I had talked about getting pregnant, but I wasn’t sure if I was ready. I decided to go off birth control to see what would happen. I had multiple friends who had struggled to get pregnant, so I assumed it would take a while. But it didn’t.

On my thirtieth birthday, we had plans to go for dinner at Shutters on the Beach in Santa Monica. Jay had told me he had a surprise he was planning to give me after we finished eating. I didn’t tell him that I had one too.

We sat outside next to the Pacific Ocean, looking at the surfers in wetsuits paddling out on their boards to catch a few more waves as the sun set.

After I blew out the candle on a slice of red velvet cake, Jay took out an envelope from his pocket and handed it to me.

“Happy birthday,” he said.

I opened it to find two plane tickets to Rome for the summer. He knew it was the last trip Mom, Dad, and I had gone on together before she died. Tears bubbled in my eyes, thinking about how much I missed them and how much I would miss them in this next chapter of my life.

“Thank you,” I told Jay. “But we might have to hold off on the trip.”

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