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I collapse to the floor in tears the moment Tiff opens the door, still gasping for breath from my run over here. She falls to the floor next to me, kicking the door closed as she wraps her arms around me. “Oh, sweetie.”
The run was a mistake. Feeling those emotions again. Bringing those memories to the surface. I can’t handle it. I can’t handle this. The pit in my stomach is endless. The pain in my chest is agonizing. I can’t handle it. Fuck, I can’t do this anymore.
Tiff grabs me by the shoulders and holds me up to face her. “Addison, look at me.”
I swallow hard to stop my cries, wiping the remaining tears from my face. She squeezes my face in her hands. “You’re strong.”
That’s all she says.
“You’re strong,” she repeats.
I nod, taking in a few deep breaths to steady myself. I can do this. I can get through this.
God, please let me get through this.
Chapter 3
One Month Later
“Meeting time,” Curtis says as he stands from his desk in the cubicle next to mine. I walk over to the break room to grab a paper towel to wipe all the condensation from my water bottle before heading into the conference room, plopping down on the chair next to Nicole.
She leans over and whispers to me. “It’s the new controller’s first day.”
My head falls back as I close my eyes and sigh. “Shit, I forgot. I really don’t feel like training someone this week. We’re busy as hell right now.”
She laughs. “Yeah, hopefully he’ll be stuck with Roger most of the day today.”
“He?” I ask.
She smirks. “Yes, he. Why?”
I shrug her off. “No reason. Just different from what we’re used to here. The last, what? Five, six controllers have been women.”
She purses her lips, thinking for a moment. “Geez, how have we gone through so many controllers since we’ve both worked here?”
I burst out laughing. “Well, we obviously have both been here too long first of all. And secondly, it’s because we know better how to run this company than any of them,” I joke.
Butterflies swarm my stomach when I hear Roger chatting with another man on the way to the conference room for our weekly meeting. I always get nervous meeting new people at work. I’m not exactly sure why. I guess because I know I’ll have to be seeing them every day and want to make a good impression. It doesn’t help that Roger is coming to this week’s meeting as well. He’s the VP of services, so technically my boss’s boss. It’s not like he’s never around, but I always have to be more aware of what I say and do when he is.
Nicole leans closer, lowering her voice. “Terri said she saw a man with Roger this morning, and he wasvery,very handsome.” She leans her head to the side with her eyebrows raised, smirking at me.
“Shut it,” I swat her away, giggling. “They’re coming in now.”
The rest of my department trickles in, and Roger finally walks in with a coffee in hand, talking over his shoulder. I lean back in my chair, positioning myself in a confident pose. I put on my most welcoming smile as the man walks into the conference room, immediately meeting my gaze.
No. Fuck no.
I can’t force a smile. My jaw is on the floor. I snap it shut and divert my eyes, hoping he didn’t notice. How is this happening to me right now? Haven’t I dealt with enough recently?
Fuck!
I feel his gaze on me, but I continue looking down, pretending I’m writing myself a note. Nicole gives me a questioning look, so I smile before grabbing my water bottle and taking a few large gulps. Roger begins the meeting, and I manage to build enough courage to glance over at the man to verify it is who I think it is, hoping my imagination was just being dramatic.
My heart sinks when I confirm my eyes weren’t deceiving me.
Trolley bitch.
I frantically scan the room, making sure I didn’t say that out loud. My eyes catch his once more, revealing his cocky smirk. I whip my eyes back to Roger, folding my arms across my chest to appear like I don’t care that I can feel his eyes on me.
