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I don’t respond, letting her have her moment of sadness without my judgemental ass breathing down her neck. That won’t do any good right now anyway. She needs a friend. Not a big brother.
Her eyes are droopy when I open the car door for her at my apartment. I reach down and unbuckle her seatbelt before lifting her into my arms and carrying her to my front door.
She squirms, still half asleep. “I can walk,” she says, groggily.
I drop her to her feet as I unlock the door. She rubs her left eye with a yawn. “This isn’t my place.”
I ignore her, leading her inside. “Get in bed. I’ll get you some water.”
I grab a couple glasses and fill them with water before walking back to my room. I stop in my doorway, frozen in place. Thea is standing next to my dresser, pulling her hair out from my shirt as it falls down her legs, but not before I caught a glimpse of the boyshort panties she has on underneath of it.
I swallow hard, blinking rapidly to bring myself back to the present. I look down at the two water glasses in my hand like I was about to just come sleep in here with her. Fucking hell, Trevor’s going to kill me.
Hell, I’d kill me.
She smiles at me as I set the glass on the nightstand, and she plops down onto my bed with her bare legs rubbing against my sheets. “Thanks,” she whispers.
I nod awkwardly, stepping back. She notices me trying to leave. “Are you staying up?”
I scratch the back of my head, knowing I can’t tell her I’m going to be beating myself up the whole night for the thoughts I was just having. “I, uh… I was gonna go sleep out on the couch.”
She frowns. “Will you watch a movie with me?” Her eyes turn sad when I don’t immediately say yes. “Please. I won’t be able to sleep, and I don’t want to be alone right now.” She already has me held hostage by the heartstrings, but that doesn’t stop her from sinking the nail in the coffin. “And you’re the one who made me come home. Otherwise, I’ll just have to sneak out and find frat-house boy again.”
“I will personally guard this door all night if I have to,” I threaten.
“Like that would stop me.”
I give in before she figures out about the bathroom window. “Fine. Scooch,” I say, pushing her over as far as possible and getting as many pillows as I can between us.
She side-eyes me with a smirk. “Why are you being so weird?”
I hand her the TV remote and ignore her question. “Here. We both know we’re going to watch the one you choose anyway.”
“That’s only because you always fall asleep twenty minutes in. Better go put on your jammies, sleepy boy,” she giggles.
No fucking way am I changing out of these jeans while she’s in here. It’s fine. Get it fucking together. It’s movie night. Just like we’ve done a million times before.
Except those other times her brother was there, and she wasn’t alone with you, half naked in your bed.
“Just pick a movie,” I say, getting up and going into the kitchen to grab some snacks. But more importantly, giving myself a minute to pull myself together.
I exhale harshly, leaning against my hands on the counter. I’m not right in the right head right now. I’m lonely and sad about Olivia. That’s what this is.
I shake out my arms and head back to the room. Thea doesn’t notice me for a moment. She’s gazing off into the distance with sadness all over her face.
My jaw tenses. What the fuck is wrong with me? It’s my job to protect her, and here I am doing the same thing those other fuckers are doing to her. I can’t let that ever happen again.
She smiles when she sees me, but I can tell it’s a front. She doesn’t want me to see her sadness. She’s always been good at hiding it. She thinks she needs to be strong, but I’m the one who’s supposed to be strong for her. Not the other way around.
She grabs the chip bag from my hand as I sit back down on the bed next to her. She snuggles up against my arm. “Can you not tell Trevor about this?”
I brush her hair behind her ear without thinking about it. “Sure. Just this once though.”
“Promise?”
I can’t ever let Trevor find out about this night.
“I promise.”
