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‘Kayla, I don’t think that’s a good idea,’ Dad says. ‘Your knee.’ He points as if I’ve forgotten or could ever forget.
‘I have two knees, Dad,’ I say. ‘She can sit on the other one.’
‘Molly be careful,’ Charlotte warns as Molly rushes over to me. ‘Kayla, are you sure she won’t be too heavy?’
‘Of course you won’t be too heavy, will you, Molly?’ I say. ‘You’re only little.’
‘I am not.’ Molly jams her hands onto her hips in protest. ‘I’m four.’
I laugh some more. ‘Of course, how could I forget how grown-up you are. Now, c’mon. Hop up and let’s go. Aiden will you push us?’
‘Sure,’ Aiden says. ‘Let’s go around the basketball court and Molly can throw a few hoops. See if she has the natural Doran talent.’
Dad lifts Molly onto my lap, taking ages to position her so she’s to one side, avoiding my bad leg. ‘Now don’t wriggle or move Molly or you’ll hurt Kayla.’ I can tell by Dad’s face that he’s nervous.
Aiden starts to push the chair and we slowly begin to roll forward.
‘Faster, faster,’ Molly shrieks.
‘That’s plenty fast enough,’ Dad warns. ‘Take it nice and steady, Aiden. That’s it.’
‘Gotcha,’ Aiden says, though we’re barely moving. ‘I’ll be careful.’
I wave to Mam on the far side of the yard. She’s chatting to Miss Hanlon and she’s smiling and doesn’t notice me at first. When I finally get her attention she suddenly charges across the grass towards us.
‘Stop. Stop!’ she shouts. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Mam. It’s fine,’ I say. ‘Molly is just having a little spin.’
‘C’mon, Molly.’ Mam lifts Molly off my lap and places her down on the ground and she throws Dad a dirty look. ‘What on earth were you thinking?’ Mam says.
I’m not sure who she’s asking.
‘Gavin, really. I turn my back for two minutes.’
‘No harm done, Heather,’ Jack says, appearing at Mam’s side. ‘They were just having some fun.’
Mam sighs and suddenly seems less frantic. Jack has a real calming effect on her. It’s good. And Dad looks as if he appreciates that he’s not going to get his head bitten off after all.
‘It’s time to go inside now,’ Mam says. ‘It’s too cold out here for you and Miss Hanlon says there’ll be music and dancing in the hall soon.’
‘I can’t dance,’ I say, becoming embarrassed that people have started to stare, obviously noticing Mam’s dramatic sprint across the whole yard. Jesus.I wish I thought about how much I’d stand out today before I agreed to come.
I mean, it’s bad enough being stuck in this chair, but my whole family being here too is a bit intense and everyone keeps staring at me as if I’m a stranger and not someone who’s been in school with them for the last four years. I know I look different now. I’m pretty skinny, and even though I like this new bandana Jack gave me it’s still obvious I’m trying to cover my lack of hair. I hope Jack doesn’t tell anyone he’s my doctor. That’s a level of mortification I simply can’t handle right now. It’s as if I’ve come with a whole team of super-enthusiastic babysitters who make awkward conversation with the teachers and don’t really know where to stand. I just want some space. I really thought today would be different. I thought it would be just like a regular day at school. But it’s nothing like that at all.
‘Kayla, I’m sorry.’ Mam’s smile falls. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you. I just mean it’s warm inside and I don’t want you to get sick.’
‘I’m already sick,’ I say.
‘Kayla.’ Dad says my name the way he used to when I was a little girl and I did something naughty.
I roll my eyes. I’m pretty pissed off that I’m clearly not supposed to mention the obvious. That I am sick.Dying in fact.I don’t think a light breeze is going to change much.
‘It’s fine out here,’ I say. And it is. Google is saying it’s something mad; like it’s ten degrees warmer than it usually is at this time of year. I don’t even need a coat. Although Mam insisted I bring one. I’m surprised she hasn’t noticed I took it off and asked Aiden to stuff it into his locker for me.
‘Kayla, I’m not going to argue with you,’ Mam says.
‘Okay. Good. You go inside if you want, then. I’m staying out here.’
