AllFreeNovel
Share Us
But not only did he succeed in cheering me up, he also proved how well he’s beginning to know me. That he understands how vital it is for Abbey Bly to live a life separate from Gunner Bly’s.
His laughter tickles my ear. “I’ll try. And I’ll be sure to send plenty of photos from Dublin.” There’s a telling pause, then, “I’m going to miss you.”
My heart does a somersault. “I’ll miss you too.”
32
THE HOUSE FEELS TOO SMALL WHENJACK ANDIAREN’T SPEAKING. Navigating becomes treacherous, especially when neither of us want Lee or Jamie to pick up on the tension. I come down from my room later that afternoon to rummage for lunch, careful to poke my head around the corner to check the kitchen is clear before I enter. All I see is Jamie sitting at the counter with a sandwich. I’m spreading mustard on bread when Jack strides in, then halts. He stands there, indecisive, for so long that Jamie looks up from his phone.
“All right, mate?”
“Huh?”
“You need something?”
“No, uh…” Jack glances around, then strides back out. “Forgot what I was looking for.”
I pile turkey on my sandwich and nurture the stab of hurt that feeds my anger. For the life of me, I can’t see where Jack gets off pinning any of this on me. I was just here, minding my own business, when he got it in his head to kiss me that first time. I don’t accept responsibility for the consequences of his regrets, and it’s unfair to lay them at my feet. I refuse to entertain his tantrums. For fuck’s sake, I’m the youngest one in the house.
“Weird one, that Jackie,” Jamie says. “He seem strange to you lately?”
“I really wouldn’t know,” I lie.
The path of least resistance is to stay in my room and avoid awkward confrontations altogether. So for the rest of the day, I busy myself with homework and scrutinizing the documents Ben left me. It does little to plug the drain of energy and emotion that saps me as the day wears on. When I can’t stand these four walls anymore, I take a walk to a café a couple blocks over to grab a quick bite for dinner.
Venturing through the neighborhood alone, exploring, has become one of my favorite activities since moving here. I’ve grown adept at writing internal storylines for myself, imagining new personas and narrating the lives of people I observe. Today’s the first time I’ve felt lonely while doing it.
Nate texts as I’m about to get in the shower, sending me a picture of his hotel room with the caption:Wish you were here with me. Naked, of course.
Of course, I type back, then set the phone down on the vanity, grinning to myself as I step under the hot spray.
After a long shower, I wipe the steam off the mirror and study my flushed, naked body, wondering what it is that Nate sees.
Everything about me feels average. Average weight, height, boob size, face. My best feature is probably my hair—it’s long and thick, a dark shade of red that Eliza always says reminds her of autumn at night. I guess I don’t mind my lips either. They’re naturally red and fuller than most.
But I’m not a supermodel. I shouldn’t have lords trying to kiss me. I shouldn’t have Nate constantly aching for me. Hot Jacks kissing me left and right.
It sounds like I’m standing around admiring myself naked and humblebragging, but I’m genuinely bothered as I study my reflection. This is my first foray out in the wild, away from my father. I’m not experienced. I’m not worldly like Celeste or confident like Yvonne. I wish I knew how people viewed me but at the same time know I shouldn’t care.
I head to my bedroom, where I dress and then get cozy under a blanket with my boat disaster book. After a few chapters, I put myself to bed early.
I’m not sure how long I’ve been lying in the dark with my eyes open when I hear a soft knock at my door. I know it’s Jack, because I heard Lee and Jamie leaving for the pub.
“Yeah?”
A splinter of light from the hallway moves across my wall.
“Hey, sorry.” A shirtless Jack wearing only his pajama pants pokes his head in. “I didn’t realize you were asleep.”
Bitterness stings my cheeks. “I’m not.”
“I can leave.”
“It’s fine.”
“Can we have a chat?”
Whether it’s the regretful pitch of his voice or the exhaustion of keeping up the silent treatment, I don’t have it in me to send him off. I’m too tired to fight him anymore.
