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“Dude. No wonder you’re too scared to bring women home. They really hated this one, huh?”
“Oh yeah.” His hand moves over my shoulder in an absent-minded caress. “They’re protective is all. We’re a tight-knit clan. Always looking out for one another.”
“Honestly, that sounds wonderful. Being an only child is lonely. And I didn’t even get to grow up with both parents. Dad and I are close, but sometimes I wonder what it would’ve been like to have a mom and dad in the same house, maybe a couple of siblings.”
“It’s nice,” Jack admits. “Chaotic, certainly. But nice.”
“How old were you when your dad died?”
“Six. Things got rough after he passed. Real bloody rough. Noah became the man of the house at the ripe old age of ten. Shannon was only a toddler.”
“I can’t even imagine how difficult that must have been for your mom.”
“It was bad for a while. There’s a decent welfare system in Sydney, but not the best. Other family members tried to help out, but they weren’t exactly wealthy themselves. By the time I was thirteen, I was working three jobs. Two under the table for cash.”
“That does sound rough.” I squeeze his hand in sympathy.
“Yeah.” He speaks in a faraway tone now. “Never really got to be normal like other lads. I mean, of course, we partied. Raised hell when we got the chance. But keeping the family afloat came first. Helping Mum out was more important than anything else. Girls, parties. None of that mattered.”
Curiosity tugs at me. “What about the girl you were dating in high school? You said it was a steady thing.”
He hesitates.
“Sorry. You don’t have to talk about that if you don’t want.”
“No, it’s fine.” He shrugs. “There was one girlfriend. Lara. She was fantastic. And I…” I feel his chest dip as he swallows. “I let her down, over and over again.”
I suddenly remember something he’d said the day we went for that drive. About how there are standards you need to meet when you’re in a relationship. How he’s never been able to meet them.
“Is that why you think you’re bad at relationships?” I sit up with a slight frown.
“I was a shit boyfriend. I stood her up on her birthday.”
“Seriously?”
“It wasn’t intentional. I was supposed to get off early at the surf shop where I worked to take her out, but two of my coworkers called in sick, and the manager said he’d pay me overtime to stay. I figured I’d make it up to Lara, but she wasn’t having it.” He laughs without much humor. “I tell you, I’ve never had a verbal beatdown like that.” The laughter fades as he bites his lower lip. “She said I was the most selfish person she’d ever met.”
“You had to work. It’s not like you ditched her on her birthday to go joyriding or kangaroo hunting or whatever it is you Australians do down there.”
“I could’ve said no to my manager. I didn’t.”
“Your family needed you.”
“So did Lara. It was her birthday, for fuck’s sake. Anyway, that was one sin among many. I made heaps of promises to her that I didn’t keep.”
I reach for his hand, lacing our fingers. “You had responsibilities. If she couldn’t understand that, that’s on her, not you.”
“Either way, I hurt her. Badly.” Regret flickers through his expression. “It felt like shit, hurting somebody I cared about.”
“And you’re scared you’ll do it again?”
“Sort of, I suppose.”
I rub the inside of his palm with my thumb. “Want to know a secret? You will.”
“I will what?”
“You’re going to hurt someone again.”
