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Out of the corner of my eye, his father glares a warning.
Keep it together, Odi. Stick to the plan. Or else.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I nod.
I’m so close to losing my shit and fleeing, pulling them along with me and choosing torunrather than fight. I don’t think I can go through with this.
I’m not strong enough for what’s to come. Despite Axel’s calm, confident reassurances that plan B wasjust in case,I know he must have reason to believe, and fear, that it would be necessary.
And I’m fucking terrified.
I’m on the precipice of having everything I’ve ever wanted, albeit under the most fucked up of circumstances, but I’m too scared to enjoy it. It’s a precarious house of cards we’ve built,and it’s about to come crashing down with one blow from the big bad wolf.
The minister gives a gentle throat clear and I drag my teary eyes from the floor up to his sympathetic gaze.
Flip the narrative, Odi. You’re not crying because you’re about to lose the people you love, you’re crying because you don’t want to go through with this arranged marriage to a man you supposedly hate.
Please help me.
Please don’t make me do this.
“I’m sorry, miss. I need you to say the words out loud.”
“Y-yes,” I tremble and his sympathies vanish as a frown takes over his features.
“The line is?—”
“I do. There. Happy now?” I snap, finally losing my carefully constructed composure.
He gasps in outrage and my groom growls at me.
“Wrap this up. Now.”
No, he’s not growling at me, he’s growling at the minister. He’s as tense as I am, as eager for this charade to be over as me, but for completely different reasons.
I don’t hear another word over the regret roaring in my ears and the panic pounding through my veins. When will they strike? Will it be now or after? Will we make it to the reception? Will they allow us a few hours of joy before…
For Rose,I have to remind myself.I’m doing this for Rose. There’s no other choice. I have to ensure her safety, at all costs. It’s the reason we couldn’t run, the reason for the secrets, the reason for the sake of appearances today.
Flip the narrative, Odi…They think I’m marrying my rapist to get my daughter back, but really I’m marrying him to make them regret ever fucking with me in the first place.
I take a deep breath and zone out for the rest of the ceremony, and then before I know it Axel’s kissing me, we’re married, and I’m being led back down the aisle with my heart thundering in my throat and ice-cold dread snaking its way down my back.
That was too easy. I’m waiting for the shoe to drop.
It’s been months. You’d think it would get easier, but it doesn’t. You’d think I’d get used to it, but I don’t. I still fight, every single time, until the threat of sending Odi away to become a Firefly compels me to comply.
They don’t even need to use the drugs and guns anymore.
The idea of them hurting her is enough to get me to doanything.
And just like that, the guy gets the girl and my best friend marries the love of my life.
It doesn’t hurt at all because I know today is all for show, but judging by the pained look on Zie’s face, he’s forgotten that none of this is real. Not really. A ring and a certificate change nothing between the four of us. We’ve always been a trinity of lone planets, orbiting our sun. Axel once said Odi was the gluethat held us together, but she’s so much more than that. She’s our heartbeat. The driving pulse that keeps us going. Keeps us fighting. We exist because of her, and I’ve never been more aware of the fact than since last night.
Odi killedfor me. Sure, she always planned to end my father’s life for his role in her abuse, but that didn’t even enter her mind last night. In the moment, in that split-second decision she made, she chose to fight for me.
I don’t need a wedding ring to know how fully committed to loving one another we both are.
