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Slipping across the room on silent feet, I follow the morons out of the bedroom and downstairs, and it’s only once we’re all in the kitchen and safely away from Odi’s room that I speak.
“You’re fucking idiots,” I snap. “I’d expect this shit from you,” I tell Kaiden before turning to Zie. “But I expect better fromyou.”
“Hey! I was just trying to stop him. Don’t blame me.”
“Well, you didn’t do a very good job,” I retort. “What the hell were you thinking, Kaiden?”
“I just want them to wake up!” He pouts. “It’s Christmas and I just want to get the magic underway.”
I shake my head. I swear this boy is too stupid to live sometimes. Doesn’t he know the real magic happens in the quiet spaces between the big moments? Like Rose reaching out to grab my pinkie as she fell asleep last night or her starting to look for Odi first in the mornings rather than Zie’s mum. Every little moment has really been a big moment, and all he cares about is pink wrapping paper and plastic crap.
“What were you planning to do?” Zie asks as I turn on the kettle.
I’d much rather have a coffee from my state-of-the-art machine, but it’s too noisy, so I’ve been suffering through instant peasant shit since Rose came home. While she’s asleep anyway. Which is never quite long enough.
Don’t get me wrong, I love her with my whole heart – more than I ever thought was possible – but I just wish she’dsleepa little more. Give her mum a break and us some time to relax together.
“I dunno. I didn’t think that far ahead. I was gonna give her a little poke, see if she stirred,” Kaiden replies with a shrug.
“You do know Odi sleeps with a knife under her pillow, don’t you?” I say with a wry chuckle. “I do not fancy your chances of taking her on. And if you ever threaten topokeour daughter again, I’ll chop your fucking hands off!”
I stare daggers at Kaiden, feeling a surge of protectiveness for my wife and daughter. What kind of fucktard would risk waking them up? I’ve seen her face when she’s half-asleep, and I can’t even imagine what awful things she’d do to us if she caught us in the act.
Kaiden looks apologetic now, probably a little scared of my wrath. “I just wanted to see her face when she opened her presents. It’s supposed to be magical, right? The surprise and wonder. And I didn’t want to wake her up too early…it’s notthatearly, right?”
Zie chuckles, shaking his head. “You threaten to chop his hands off every time he threatens to poke Rose. You know he’s kidding, right?”
“Yeah, I know,” I grin. “But I’m a protective parent and husband now, what can I say?” I reach for a mug for my instant coffee, avoiding their eyes. “Just promise me you won’t try anything like that again, okay?”
Kaiden raises both hands, “I swear, man. Just once, can’t we have a good ol’ fashioned Christmas morning like I remember as a kid?”
I slump against the counter, letting out a sigh. “I know, Kaid. I know. But this is our baby. Our house. And I just want to make sure she’s safe and happy. And I promise, when she’s older, we’ll do whatever you want. We’ll have a normal Christmas. We’ll even let you open up your stupid presents early!”
Zie laughs, interrupting my speech. “It’s not that serious, man! We’re just trying to enjoy the moment.”
”You’re right, you’re right,” I sigh. “Let’s just make sure we wake Odi up when Rose wakes up, okay? With coffee. And then we’ll all have breakfast together and open presents then. Everything can still be perfect, just not before six a.m.”
We share a laugh.
“What did you get her for Christmas anyway?” I ask, taking a sip of my disgusting drink and pulling a face. I stare longingly at my fancy machine and then at the clock.Soon. Real coffee is coming soon.
Kaiden avoids my gaze and turns shifty. Fidgeting has always been his tell.
“Absolutely not!” I snap.
“What?” he snaps, defensively.
“You are not giving our sixteen month daughter a set of knives for Christmas!”
“I would never do that,” he protests. He looks so damn innocent that for a moment I doubt myself, but then he shrugs and adds, “It wasn’t a knifeset.It was just one little baby switchblade. Practically a toy. And it’s pink.”
“NO!” I growl. “I don’t give a shit if it’s studded in diamonds and smells like candyfloss. You’re not giving it to her this young.”
“Well, when can I give her it?”
I consider his question. Research has proven that toddlers should be exposed to day-to-day household tasks like buttering bread from an early age. I nod. “When she’s three.”
“Boring!” he whines.
