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Hudson’s shoulders tense for just a second, before he lets it go with a breath. “I know. But rightly or wrongly, I trust you not to betray that. Tia means the world to me. She has since the nurse laid her in my arms the day she was born.”
It’s hard not to think of that time and not let the grief and pain overtake me, but that has no bearing on this conversation, so I just nod. “I like this side of you.”
“Yeah, what else do you like?”
I know what he wants but if I go down this road with him, I’m not sure I’ll ever find a way back. “Lines with less cheese in them.”
Hudson throws his head back and laughs, and I can’t help but join in, his genuine joy infectious. It strikes me that I’ve laughed more in this house in a few hours than I have for the last year. That’s not to say I haven’t been happy, but I haven’t felt free. Which, considering the shit storm that is my life, is a miracle.
“Everything is better with cheese, Aud.”
“Except pick-up lines.”
Hudson holds his hand up with a grin. “Fair point.”
We fall into a comfortable silence until he lifts his gaze from his mug and his expression is sobering. “I really am sorry about your dad, Aud.”
My nose prickles with the familiar sting of emotion, but I refuse to cry again today. “Thank you.”
“What do you need from me to make this easier on you and your parents?”
I’m surprised by the thoughtfulness of his question, but perhaps I shouldn’t be. He was always this way when we dated too. I’ve just spent so long hating him that it’s hard to turn off. We should clear the air and discuss what happened, but I don’t want to fracture this truce we have right now or open myself up to questions I’m not ready to give him the answers to.
“Just pretend you’re madly in love with me and ease their worries.”
“Easy. What else?”
I shrug. “That’s it I guess. Maybe be available for some family stuff. My parents will want to get to know you, especially my dad before he….” I can’t finish the sentence and he doesn’t make me, taking my hand and threading his fingers through mine.
“Look at me, Audrey.”
My head tilts up and I find him watching me with undisguised emotion on his face that I can’t place.
“I’m there whenever you need me to be. If you need us to spend every day visiting your dad, then that’s what we do. Take it from me, losing a parent is hard so make those memories and have the conversations while you can.”
My throat closes and I roll my lips between my teeth to try and fight those damn tears. “Thank you.”
“I mean it. Anything you need, I’m here for you.”
“What about Tia? I don’t want to pull all your focus away from her. She needs you too.”
“We’ll make it work, okay?”
I haven’t got it in me to argue and, honestly, the thought of having him to lean on feels good. I know I have my friends, but they all have their own lives, and I know I’ll be filled with guilt for dragging them away from their partners. Hudson is offering and selfishly I’m going to take him up on this. “Okay.”
“You wanna watch some TV?”
“No, I think I’ll head to bed.”
“Yeah, me too. It’s been a long day.”
I help him rinse the mugs and load the dishwasher, adding detergent as he gives the kitchen a final wipe-down. It’s so normal and I find it soothing.
As we head up, I stop on the threshold of his bedroom and watch as he checks on Tia, peeking my head around the door to watch the silent interaction. He pulls the covers higher over her shoulders and gently presses the back of his hand to her forehead before retreating.
“She okay?”
“Yeah, she’s fine. She‘ll be out ’til morning now, but if she comes in looking for me, just come get me.”
