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“She’s exhausted. She needs her rest.”
“But you have to understand,” another voice barked, “I would have been here. I should have been here.”
“We can’t change that now.” This, Anna realized, was her mother’s voice. The other was Violet’s. Her heart sank with recognition. Violet was brokenhearted that she hadn’t been there for the birth.
Violet began to cry. Anna shifted up in bed, rubbing her eyes and getting eyeliner and mascara all over her fingers. When her mother appeared in the crack in the doorway, Anna waved and, before she lost her nerve, said, “Bring Violet in.”
Julia stumbled and tilted her head. “Are you sure?” she mouthed. She knew more than anyone how Anna felt about Violet.
Anna nodded, trying to make herself feel serene and soft. Violet was just a grandmother, overwhelmed with new love and tragedy. She had to find a way to welcome her.
Violet was drying her cheeks of tears as she entered the hospital room. Her eyes grazed Anna’s face before dropping down into the bassinet beside the bed, where the tiniest baby in the world slept soundly. Just as the doctor had said, Adam had been born with a full head of curly black hair, which now burst from the edges of his little winter hat. He was a miracle.
“My goodness,” Violet whispered as she knelt beside the bassinet and peered inside. She shook her head as her eyes filled with another round of tears. “He looks just like Dean.”
News of this shot through Anna’s heart. She closed her eyes against a wave of feeling, terrified that she wouldn’t be able to stop herself if she burst into tears.
“You can hold him,” Anna whispered, “if you want.”
Violet nodded and wrapped her arms around the tiny baby. As she nestled him to her chest, she sat gingerly and gazed at his face, his soft cheeks, his translucent eyelids. Anna had to continually remind herself that this baby was hers, that he was her responsibility forevermore, that he would one day grow up to learn stories of his father and look at Dean’s photograph, looking for clues that he was his.
But he would be raised in The Copperfield House. He would be known as Copperfield rather than Carpenter. And that was sure to break Violet’s heart.
When Anna told Violet his name was Adam, Violet nodded and said, “Dean would have approved.” Anna wanted to take issue with that. Had Dean really told Violet what kind of names he would have selected for a child? She doubted it.
More likely, Violet had begun to construct another version of Dean, one that belonged to her rather than reality. It was only natural to do this after someone’s untimely death. Anna had begun to do the same.
“Don’t worry, Adam,” Violet breathed as she cradled the sleeping baby. “I’ll teach you everything I know. And I’ll protect you. Every day of my life.”
Behind her, Julia rubbed her forehead with the flat of her palm and shifted her weight.
“Have you told your husband he has a grandson?” Anna asked, surprising herself.
Violet’s eyes flickered. “Of course,” she said. “He’s just as over the moon as I am.”
“When is he coming out to meet him?” Anna asked.
“Any day now,” Violet affirmed. “He’s just wrapping up a few things back home. And then, he’ll run across the country to meet you, dear Adam. I can hardly wait.”
After Violet returned to the waiting room, Julia collapsed into the chair beside Anna’s bed and sucked her lower lip into her mouth. Anna considered making a joke about Violet, about how she’d thought she would never leave the hospital room. But a moment later, there was another knock on the door. Julia opened it to reveal Smith. Anna’s heart burst in her chest.
“Smith!” Anna was surprised at the adrenaline that coursed through her body as he stepped into the hospital room. “What are you still doing here?”
“I left briefly,” Smith explained, palming the back of his neck. “I had to feed Luka and take him for a walk.”
Warmth flooded Anna’s chest as she considered this man’s commitment to his dog. It seemed proof of the goodness in him—a goodness he wasn’t entirely willing to show anyone else.
Julia waved from the door. “I’m going to go talk to Charlie,” she said, her eyes dancing from Smith to Anna and back. Her expression burned with curiosity. “Come get me if you need anything.”
Julia closed the door, leaving Smith, Anna, and Adam alone. Smith sat at the edge of the chair Julia had vacated and stared into the bassinet. He looked vaguely frightened of Adam, as though he hadn’t actually considered that a real, live baby would be the result of all that pain from earlier. In some ways, Anna had felt the same.
“It’s hard to believe we all came into the world like that,” Smith said softly. “That we were all so small and helpless.”
Anna’s heartbeat quickened. Remembering Smith’s birth story, she fought the urge to reach over and take his hand.
“But don’t worry,” Smith added before Anna could think of anything to say. “I won’t put anything half as cheesy as that in my memoir.”
Anna laughed in surprise. “I don’t think it’s cheesy.”
