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TK was waiting for Meegan in the lobby. She knew there was no chance of getting through this visit without crying, but she didn’t mean to burst into tears the moment she saw him. TK pulled her into his arms and led her to the elevator.
“Come on, sweet girl. We have so much wine.”
“I can’t get hammered,” Meegan sniffled. “But yeah, I’ll have a glass.”
TK laughed as he pressed the button for the penthouse. “Marcos was just getting back from Pilates when you texted him. He’s taking a quick shower.”
“I didn’t mean to barge in on your Sunday night.”
“You’re family, Meegs. Your barging is always welcome.”
Meegan hadn’t been over to their place since before the pandemic had started. Ascending to the top made her stomach roil. So much had changed in the last seven years, the last four years, especially in the last few months. She didn’t know how to reconcile it all. She didn’t think a single visit to The Club would bring it all rushing back to the surface, but she wanted to see Marcos. She had to stop pretending she didn’t miss him so fucking much.
The elevator opened and they walked into their home. She stepped out of her shoes and followed TK down the Persian runner that covered the polished concrete floor. She remembered when Marcos had moved in. He’d promised his mother he was looking to finally create a home and not a party pad, and he’d kept his promise. Their condo was so adult.
“Make yourself comfortable and I’ll be right back.” TK disappeared into the kitchen as Meegan sat on their overstuffed leather couch that was big enough to sit two families. Meegan let out a deep breath. The conversation needed to happen and the more she thought about how long she’d put parts of it off, the more her guilt seemed to compound.
She couldn’t help but laugh when Marcos and TK came back into the room at the same time from opposite directions. “Aww, Meegy boo!” Marcos said, hair still damp from the shower.
“I was going to crack into this Riesling,” TK said, strutting through with a full bottle and two glasses. He had a box of tissues under his arm. He set everything on the coffee table as Meegan stood so she could hug Marcos properly. TK squeezed her shoulder just as she pulled away.
“I’ll be in the bedroom, but I’m here if you need me.” He kissed her on the cheek and then gave Marcos a parting kiss on the lips.
“Sit, sit,” Marcos said when they were alone. “What’s going on? Keira said you guys were fine, but what happened with you and Mr. O last night? You were gone when I came back out to the floor.”
“Before I explain all of that, I owe you a huge apology.”
“For what?”
“For pulling back after Evelyn left. For being MIA for so long. You and I?—”
“I know,” Marcos said. “I was just worried about you. I know you see Daniel and Keira a lot, but I didn’t know what else was going on. They said you were pulling back from them, too. Keira said you hadn’t spent the night in months.”
Meegan sighed. How could she be shocked that kink friends had noticed her reclusive behavior? She hadn’t exactly been subtle with each and every brush off.
“I felt alone.” It was hard to say it out loud to Marcos, but she had to. “I felt alone in the middle of it. Every scene was good, but then I felt hollow as soon as it was over. And it wasn’t just sub drop. I realized I was never cut out for just this. I needed more. I still do.”
Marcos let a sad smile spread over his handsome face. “I get that. You know, when TK and I met, he asked me if what Philip was doing for me was enough.”
“What did you tell him?”
“Of course it was. Girl, do you remember how much fun we used to have?”
“Yes,” Meegan laughed. It had been hedonistic and distracting, the perfect combination for someone in their twenties who wanted to belong and had no idea where they were going. Isn’t that what your twenties are for? Fun and fucking and maybe, possibly, figuring yourself out. “What changed? What made you give him a chance outside of the scene?”
“One night, Philip, Daniel, and remember Collins?”
“Yes!” He’d been a member of the club when Meegan joined, deep into the scene. Turned out, his father was a senator and had given him five years to have his fun. One day, he was just gone. He’d moved to the east coast, married a Mars, like the trillion dollar candy company Mars, and they’d never heard from him again.
“Okay, so yeah. They turned me inside out. Like, we went all day, all night. Philip did proper aftercare and all that, and it’s not like I had to be at work the next day, but I still dropped hard. I wanted to drink, like, a lot. I remember telling myself alcohol will numb this and it scared me.”
“Oh babe.” Meegan knew the feeling. Looking over the cliff of intense, possibly bad decisions and praying you know how to pull yourself back.
“I called TK instead and asked him if he wanted to go to brunch. You know what he did? He took me to Disneyland instead. Best first date of my life.”
“How did I not know this?” Meegan laughed.
Marcos shrugged. “Don’t know, but that’s how we kicked things off. We went on almost every ride and when we were in line, we just talked. I remember thinking about how Philip talked around me. I was his pet. His dog. But TK and I wanted to know everything about each otherandwe wanted to have freaky sex. I understood what he meant then. Philip was great. He opened me up—literally. Ahehehe.”
