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“What can I do to help?”
“If you care about Brazen, if you think you might love him or could one day love him, then take care of him. Never take him for granted, and help me to get his mind off my shit. Brazen has shouldered my burdens long enough. I want him to be happy. I think you might just be the girl to finally steal him away from me, and I couldn’t be more relieved that you’re finally here.”
“I don’t want to steal him from you, Sunday. I want him, but I don’t want to take him from you.”
She looks me in the eyes for the first time today. “Brazen will always be in my life, but I need him to focus less on Matt. I need him to stop putting his life on hold. I need him to start living his life.”
“Is he in danger?” I ask. Worry takes root in my stomach.
“I don’t know. Matt knows how much Brazen means to me. He knows losing him would destroy me, and he also knows Brazen won’t rest until Matt is completely out of my life. So, my gut tells me that, yes, those things put Brazen in danger. But, realistically, I think it’s less of a physical danger. He prefers his victims to be smaller than him, but he’d find a way to punish Brazen if he wanted to.”
I end the topic of Brazen’s safety. When I see the bruising on Sunday’s skin, I can’t think about Brazen being hurt like that—or worse. Sunday just bared her deepest and darkest to me because she cares about Brazen’s relationship with me. She’s shown me that she definitely doesn’t want to be a wedge that sits between us. I already knew that though.
“I won’t pretend to know what you’ve been through, but I do understand parents that make decisions for us. My mom made a big one for me, and I’ve yet to come to terms with her choices, which I guess is part of growing up—finding forgiveness and then healing. Your parents were wrong to shun you like they have.”
“Thanks. I’m just happy I have Beth. The whole thing with them was hard, but it would have been a lot harder without Brazen’s mom.”
“Have you tried to talk to your parents?”
“Yeah, I tried for years after I left Matt. I would call and show up at their house. I turned up one day after he’d beaten me, so they could see my bruises. But their religion is just more important to them. My leaving Matt is a sin, and that’s all they care about.”
Idiots. How could they want their daughter to stay with a man who hurt her?
I guess, out of anybody though, I should understand parents who are selfish.
Sunday and I share a commonality of abandonment that I wish no child ever felt.
My mom wrote to me only a short time ago. The letter is upstairs in a drawer, unopened. Hearing Sunday’s story about her parents shutting her out makes me think about finally opening it, but just because my mom reached out to me, it doesn’t mean all can be forgotten. There is a time and a place for everything, and today on this porch isn’t the time for me to go looking for my forgiveness for my mother.
This is about Sunday.
And Brazen.
And everything they’ve been struggling with for years.
