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I’ll never see her again.

Noah’s arms hug around my chest, and she attempts to heave me from the floor while huffs of strained air push from her lips. “Brazen, I can’t lift you. I need you to work with me. I need to get you away from all the glass. Please, help me help you.”

“It hurts, Noah.” Tears cascade from my eyes, and I’m embarrassed by my weakness.

“Brazen, you’re covered in glass. Of course it hurts! Please get up!”

“It isn’t the glass. That isn’t what I’m saying.” I’m not surprised she can’t understand my garbled speech. “He killed her, Noah. She was supposed to escape, and I let him get to her.”

Fire burns down my cheeks as more tears are spilled.

Weak.

Pathetic.

I don’t deserve Noah’s kindness.

I should be gone instead of Sunday. I’d give anything . . .

“Baby, please . . .” Fear and sorrow choke her voice. “Don’t do this to yourself.”

I’m so deep in my own emotions as the alcohol clouds my mind that I can’t even bring myself to want to end Noah’s panic. “I can’t do this.”

Any of it.

All of it.

I just want to lie here and let everything come to an end.

Life.

Love.

Pain.

Loss.

It hurts too fucking much.

“You can, Brazen. You’re strong, and I’m here when things start to get too heavy.”

“Too heavy?” My eyes cross as laughter rips from my chest. “You don’t think things are already heavy, Noah? I lost my best fucking friend. Don’t you think that’s enough to kill me? You can’t help me. No one can. Can you bring her back? Can you find Matt? Can you do anything besides hover over me?” My voice carries louder with each sentence, and suddenly, I have the strength to stand. I sway on my feet as I look down at the unwavering girl in front of me, who doesn’t blink an eye at my crazed hollering.

“You get one pass, Brazen. ONE. To talk to me the way you just did—that’s it. Do it again, and you’ll find out what it’s really like to suffer through this alone. You’re hurting, and I love you, so I’m giving you this one pass, but you won’t use me as your punching bag to get through your grief. Are we understood?” She crosses her arms and waits sternly for an answer.

I don’t give her one.

One step, and I’m falling to the floor. In my inebriated state, my limbs don’t support my weighted stature. I close my eye and brace for impact. Before I kiss the ground once more, my decline is stopped midway when I fall into Noah’s open arms. Breath wheezes from her as I barrel into her chest and knock the air from her lungs. My feet drag, and I struggle to open my heavy eyes.

“Just go,” I whisper. “Let me fall.”

I’m too weak to escape her grasp as I beg for her to leave.

“Never. I love you, even at your worst.” Her voice is so much stronger than mine.

Dark.

The room starts to spin.

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