AllFreeNovel
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“Are you okay? Do you need something?”
Okay, my mom really did me a favor. She couldn’t have been more right. Noah appears so frenzied and on edge that the trepidation in her voice is like a slap in the face. Noah is kind and will give and give and give regardless of her own needs and wants, and I’ve taken advantage of someone I love.
“Lie back down, baby. Everything is okay.” I try to fix the mess I’ve created.
“Brazen, are you okay?”
She touches her hand to my face, and I lean in to kiss her lips.
“Not really, but that’s to be expected, right? Neither of us is feeling great right now. My emotions don’t fall solely on your shoulders though. We should be a team, and I’ve been failing on my end. I love you, Noah, more than I thought I could ever care about someone. No matter what’s going on, that’s important to me, too.” And, apparently, I’ve lost sight of that while I’ve been grieving, which is ending now.
“You lost … Sunday was your best friend. Things are supposed to be tough. I know you love me, and I’m here for you because I love you back just as much.”
I pull the covers down, taking my time as I reveal more and more of Noah’s skin. Her T-shirt is bunched up around her torso, and her tiny lounge shorts reveal so much of her legs that it drives me crazy. She shivers as I expose her skin to the cool air.
“Brazen, you don’t have to do this.”
The protest rings in my head like an alarm.
“What do you mean?” With the sheet fully removed, I straddle her hips and look down at her while she bites her lip and rests her hands on my knees.
“I don’t need us to be intimate to know you love me. You don’t need to push yourself to show me you care. We have all the time in the world.”
That final blow hits me hard. How could Noah believe that being with her would ever come from forced effort on my part? I could be bleeding to death and still want to spend my final moments inside her. I guess I’ve been neglectful in more than one area lately.
“Baby, I wasn’t coming in here to give you a quickie. I wanted to check on you, give you a massage, help you relax, and just spend some time with you. Sure, maybe that would have led to sex, but not because I thought I could come in here and keep you placated with my dick. Is that really what you thought—that I was coming in here to keep you pacified?”
Her cheeks heat up. “No, that isn’t what I … damn it. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it to come out like that.”
A small smile lifts the corner of my lip, and it feels foreign. “Good. But, no matter what is going on in my life, I will want everything about you, physical or otherwise. I guess I’ve just been a little preoccupied, and if you don’t know this about our relationship, then I’ve really fucked up.”
“Brazen, no, I’m sorry. You came in here for me, and I’m only making things more difficult—”
I cut her off with a kiss. I can’t listen to her apologize for my bullshit.
I hold the kiss until she relaxes under me, and then I pull back. “Turn over.”
My voice is firm, and Noah listens well. Hastily, I tear her clothes from her body, and she lets out a startled gasp.
When she’s naked, I run my hands down her spine and lean down to whisper in her ear, “Let me take care of you.”
My hands push against her muscles, and I rub and stroke every inch of her back until she is moaning into the pillow. Then, I kiss along her flesh in the wake of my hands and try to keep my hard-on away from her.
“Thank you for being you and for everything you do for me.” I clearly make my gratitude known. “I love you, Noah.”
“I love you, too,” she chokes the words out through her emotions.
With my hands on her, I’m reminded that it has been some time since we’ve been intimate, and after all the miscommunication during this conversation, I want her to understand that this isn’t just about sex. I need her. I crave her and because I want to reconnect in every way I know how. It isn’t about obligation. It’s about love.
I rise from the bed, stand to remove my shorts, and grab a condom. Noah lifts her head and starts to turn over.
“Don’t move,” I tell her with a smirk.
She watches me with the side of her face against the bed and a grin that matches my own on her lips. I return to her after I’m free of clothing and suited with protection.
I pin her arms behind her back, and she cautiously looks over her shoulder at me.
“Trust me,” I beg.
