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Mistress Freya was a tall, broad woman in her late fifties, with the most piercing blue eyes Nell had ever seen. Her auburn hair fell in a riot of curls down past her shoulder blades, streaked liberally with white. Dressed in her usual black leather, she looked every bit as powerful and commanding as her goddess namesake implied.
Each time Nell walked into her office, she had to resist the urge to drop to her knees and beg for forgiveness, even if she couldn’t remember doing anything wrong.
“Take a seat, kitten.”
Nell settled into one of the two leather armchairs facing her boss’s desk, curling her legs up under her. Her tendency to sit in that position had earned her the nickname not long after she started. “Is everything all right, Mistress?” She tried to sound casual, but some of her trepidation clearly bled through.
Mistress Freya gave her a soothing smile. “Relax. You’re not in trouble.”
Then why did she have to miss the show? It sure felt like a punishment.
Knowing full well that voicing the thought would be a very bad idea, she pressed her lips together and waited.
“I know you’re frustrated I called you in here during Jasper and Penny’s performance.” She looked down her hooked nose as she said it, giving her such an intensedon’t-try-to-lie-to-me-little-girlDomme look that Nell squirmed. “Aren’t you?”
“I’m sorry, Mistress,” she said automatically.
But Mistress Freya shook her head. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I already told you you’re not in trouble.”
Nell bit her bottom lip as she tried to work out what was going on. In the end, she had no choice but to admit, “I’m confused.”
“I’m going to be extremely frank with you. And I’m going to ask you to listen to everything I say, then count to ten before you respond. Can you do that for me?”
“Of course.” After the way Mistress Freya took her in, she’d do just about anything the older woman asked. Freya not only gave her the job at the club, but she even rented Nell the in-law apartment over her garage, getting her out of a disgusting pay-by-the-week motel.
“Good girl.” Mistress Freya smiled warmly, and it washed over Nell like sunlight heating her skin. “I see the way you watch Jasper and Penny, and anyone else who plays rough on the main floor. I see the desire in your eyes and the way your breath quickens. It’s obvious how much you crave it. And yet you’re not doing anything about it.”
Nell’s brows drew together. “That’s cause I’m working. I can’t just—”
“Remember what I asked of you,” Mistress Freya interrupted, brows arched, voice stern but not angry.
Right. Listen to everything and wait before responding. “Sorry, Mistress.”
With a small nod of acknowledgement, she continued. “You’re correct that I obviously expect you to keep your pants on while on the clock.” One corner of her mouth lifted in a sardonic smile. “That’s a given. But you only work here Wednesday through Sunday. Numerous Doms and Dommes in this club would gladly scene with you on your off days if you asked them. In fact, as I understand it, more than a few have approached you since you started here. And yet, you do two things and two things only: work in my club and sit in your apartment alone.”
Okay, so maybe renting a room from her boss wasn’t quite as awesome as she thought. She wanted to point out she’d visited more than a dozen of Tampa’s beaches in the last few months, and also went to the gym three times a week, thank you very much.
If Mistress Freya dug into the reasons for her newfound interest in weight training and the free women’s self-defense classes at the Y, though...it wouldn’t exactly help her case. So she bit her tongue, staring at the surface of the desk between them and trying to ignore the blush heating her cheeks.
“Look at me, please,” Mistress Freya said, her voice softening.
Raising her gaze took a monumental effort. Nell’s heart was beating against her ribs like the wings of a trapped bird.
“I’ll be the first to admit I don’t know your whole story.” Those bright blue eyes were so kind. So incredibly gentle. “But I do know people don’t show up in a new town with nothing but the clothes on their back for agoodreason.”
Shit, shit, shit.Nell didnotwant to get into this. Not now, not ever.
“I’ve had a lot of subs come through my doors since I opened Valhalla. I can recognize the signs of someone who’s been hurt by a person they thought they could trust.”
Nell closed her eyes against the threat of tears. How could Mistress Freya do this to her? Her boss was the first person who made her feel safe in an extremely long time, and nowthis. It felt like a fucking ambush.
The clicks of stiletto heels on hardwood reverberated through the room. Then a gentle hand cupped Nell’s chin. “Please, kitten. Open your eyes for me.”
Forcing out a long, jagged breath, Nell did as she was told. Mistress Freya crouched down in front of her, putting them eye to eye, their noses nearly touching.
“I’m not trying to hurt you right now. And I’m not going to force you to talk about something before you’re ready. But I also see how much you’ve been struggling. How desperately you long for what you need. How ruthlessly you deny yourself.”
Tears sprang to Nell’s eyes again. The Mistress was right. Of course she was right—she always was. Ever since she got away from Micah, she hadn’t been able to let down her guard enough to trust another Dom for even a single scene. What if it happened all over again? She’d already proven she couldn’t trust her own judgement.
