AllFreeNovel
Share Us
But not one of them ever bothered to find out why he became a beast in the first place.
“She’s a guest. She’s leaving in three days so my next guest can come. End of fucking discussion.” No longer able to look at his friends, Rafe stood, stomping off across the yard in the opposite direction from Nell. Last thing he wanted was for her to see his face and end her call early. Not during the big reunion with her friends. He couldn’t take that away from her.
But seriously, what the fuck kind of a question was that? Did helikeNell? Absolutely fucking preposterous.
So what if Aiden and Olivia found their so-called eternal bliss with one another? That didn’t give Olivia the right to meddle in other people’s lives, stirring up shit that needed to stay fucking buried.
Of course he fucking had feelings for Nell.What a stupid fucking question. The question Olivia hadn’t asked—the one that actually mattered—was a different thing entirely.
Did he plan to do anything about those feelings?
And there was only one possible answer he’d ever be able to give—a great, big, resoundingno fucking way.
He already had his heart ripped out of his chest once. Though it wasn’t visible, the hole was still there—a great, gaping wound, jagged and empty. Rafe could feel it every day when he woke, every night while he tried to fall asleep.
Some wounds scar over or fade with time. Others...others are forever.
And those are the kinds of injuries you can’t survive more than once.
* * *
“Rafe?”
He jerked away from the hand on his shoulder, leaping off the garden bench before he recognized Nell’s voice. “Shit, I’m sorry,” he said, moving around the bench to gather her to his chest.
She was stiff in his arms, and several awkward seconds passed before she asked, “Did I do something wrong, Sir?” in a small, timid voice.
“No.” He held her even closer, breathing a sigh of relief when she finally relaxed against him. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve been on edge all day.”
That was putting it mildly. He ignored her while she researched potential master’s degree programs after their picnic, scrolling angrily through his phone the whole time. When she proudly showed him a list of colleges, complete with pros and cons for each one, he hardly even glanced at it.
The hurt in her eyes felt good at the time. Maybe that’s what they both needed—to hurt each other before they got too deep into their stupid fucking feelings.
He did feel bad when she decided not to complete any more tasks, though. It was obvious she was too upset after the way he was acting to lose herself in a fantasy anyway, so what was the point?
Unfortunately, that guilty pit in his stomach only pissed him off even more, and he said things he absolutely didn’t mean. “Well, then.” He’d heard the cruelty in his own voice, loving and hating it at the same time. “If you’re sick of fucking me, I wish you’d go ahead and say so. I’m not standing in your way if you’d rather go find someone else.”
With that, he’d stalked out of the room without a backward glance, pretending he couldn’t hear her cry.
That had been hours ago. The sun almost finished setting by the time she found him sulking on the garden bench.
Fucking hell, he was so ashamed.
Pushing Nell out to arm’s length, he waited until she looked up into his eyes on her own. “I’m sorry. I know I fucked everything up today.” With a deep, steeling breath, he forced himself to add, “If you’re willing to go on a walk with me, I’ll explain why. But I’ll understand completely if you don’t want me unloading my shit on you. No hard feelings either way.”
The worry and pain in her brown eyes seemed to melt away, replaced by so much kindness it made his chest hurt. How this beautiful creature walked through fire for over a decade without letting it burn away all the goodness inside of her was beyond comprehension.
“Come on,” he said, taking her hand, leading her deeper into the extensive, manicured garden. Most of the summer flowers had withered away, but the Manor’s landscaping crew made sure the enormous garden always looked its best, no matter the season. He focused on the mums and goldenrod, the asters and witch hazel as they walked between the low square hedges. He made it all the way to the gate separating the garden from the pool before he managed to speak. “Olivia said something to me today, and it reminded me of—well, not remindedreally, but it got me thinking about—fuck.”
Christ almighty, where to begin? The only person he’d ever talked to about any of this was Freya, and she knew all the pertinent details already. He never had to figure out the perfect place to start, the best way to relay so much fucked up information so it all made sense.
“Would it help if I put you over my knee while I ask you questions and spank you when you don’t answer?” Nell asked in a mock-angelic tone.
The worst of the tension in his chest eased away as he laughed. “No, I don’t think it would.” He leaned his forearms along the top of the gate. “I appreciate the thought, though.”
She bumped her shoulder against his. “Anytime.”
Perfection was nothing but a pipe dream. Time to make himself start talking and hope for the best. “You remember when we met, and I told you I only ever let women I’ve collared call me Master?”
