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“Rafe, I didn’t—”
“Oh, look, he’s been going totherapy,” he interrupted, his gaze skipping down near the end. “How touching. Obviously he loves you enough to stop being a psychopath, just for you.”
She was crying when she next spoke. “I know I shouldn’t have read the emails. But I fucking swear, I don’t want anything to do with him.”
“Clearly,” Rafe ground out, facing her again. “That’s why you hacked into my phone and Zach’s computer to read his emails. Because he means nothing at all to you anymore.” He must be the biggest fucking idiot in the world, coming in here to confess he was—what? In love with her?
Absolutely fucking not. He learned his lesson eighteen years ago. If he let himself feel, if he gave up even a hint of control, he got hurt.
Jesus, he needed to get the fuck out of here. Whirling around, he practically ran from the tiny office.
“Rafe!Please!” Her shouts chased him from the room, only making his legs move faster.“Let me explain.”
But he was done listening. He went right through the front doors with only one thought on his mind. He needed to get the fuck away from Fairford Manor as quickly as he could.
CHAPTER15
Nell
Her heart was fucking breaking. She could literally feel it in her chest, cracks surging through it as if it were made of porcelain instead of tissue and blood.
Nell survived a decade in hell to get here. For one beautiful, shimmering moment, it had all seemed worth it. Every cruel word, every scar. She’d do it all over again if it meant ending up here...with Rafe.
And now she lost him, because she was too fucking stupid to leave the past where it belonged. The new life she imagined while Rafe wrapped her in his rope cocoon ended before it ever really started.
She had no idea how long she cried in that chair. It could’ve been minutes or hours. All she knew was that she needed Rafe to change his mind. To come back. Listen. Believe. And then give her another chance. She needed it more than she needed her next gasping breath.
But she knew he wouldn’t come.
When at last her tears dried out, she tried to force herself to think. To plan her next steps. She needed to lose herself in logic right now, before her emotions could swallow her whole.
There was no way she could stay here. Not with a party full of people who were surely already wondering where she and Rafe disappeared to. She couldn’t face them—their inevitable questions, and their condemnation when they learned how she hurt their friend.
Her flight to Florida didn’t leave until tomorrow afternoon. Would an airport as small as the one in New Hampshire stay open all night? If not, there had to be a twenty-four-hour diner nearby, right?
Dale’s card was still stuffed into the side pocket of her purse, and he promised to come get her anytime, day or night. All she had to do was avoid the others for the next three hours so he had time to drive up to Fairford.
Three stupid, tortuous hours. She cursed this state and its lack of a decent airport. The one in Burlington was so tiny, it would’ve cost three times as much to fly there, and involved a huge layover instead of a direct flight.
As far as plans went, this one wasn’t great. It didn’t fix anything at all. But at least it protected her from even more pain. That would have to do for now.
Trying to ignore the way her insides twisted and writhed, she scooted the chair up to Zach’s desk. As soon as she logged out of his computer, she’d go upstairs to pack.
She sort of told the truth before. When Rafe burst into the room, she’d only just logged in. She hadn’t gotten a chance to look as her inbox loaded. At the very top was the email from Micah he undoubtably saw, which had arrived less than an hour ago. No way was she reading that, ever. She would sign out of this account and never check it again for as long as she fucking lived.
But before she could follow through on the thought, another name caught her eye. Leslie Beaumont.
Her mother.
She got an email fromher mom.
Nell didn’t know if she was holding her breath, or if she forgot how to breathe. She leaned closer to the screen as she clicked on it.
Dear Noelle,
I don’t really know how to start this email. It doesn’t feel real somehow, talking to you again after so many years. I’ve been sitting here for over an hour staring at the screen, trying to figure it out.
The most important thing I need to say is that you’re my daughter no matter what, and I’ll always love you. I don’t think I’ll ever understand the decisions you’ve made, but maybe I don’t have to. As long as you’re safe and happy now, that’ll have to be enough for me.
