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“Thoughts?”
“Oh . . . mmm . . . I don’t know exactly what to say,” I lied.
The room erupted in laughter again.
“That’ll be the day. You at a loss for words.” Pops’s laughter made his eyes crinkle around the edges.
“Sure as the sky is blue, this one”—Grams’s thumb shot out at me—“never has nothing to say. You can always count on my Siena to have an opinion.”
“Never been the silent type. Since the day she was born, she’s always made herself heard. I hope you know what you’re asking for.” Pops clapped Michael on his back in camaraderie.
“Siena?” Michael said, forcing my eyes back to his.
“Um.” I faltered. Could I be honest with him? How would he react if I told him I absolutely hated it? It would take away from everything my family had built. Blood, sweat, and tears—all for nothing. I didn’t want to create a divide between us, and I didn’t want to jeopardize anything for my grandparents. But I had to protect them at all costs.
“Stop pussyfooting, Siena,” Grams said. “Just be honest.”
“What are you afraid of, Siena?” Michael asked.
“I just don’t—”Feel safe. . .Trust you. . .Want to piss you off and have you take it out on my grandparents. . . How did I explain my feelings without seeming conniving or even petty? “I don’t know.” I waved my hands, not knowing what else to do.
“Just tell me what you think.”
“I can’t.”
“Yes, you can,” Grams said. Pops nodded.
“I . . . I . . .”
“Well, this is a first,” Grams said, chuckling.
“Stop it, Grams. I’m serious. I can’t deal with all this right now.”
“All what?” Pops asked.
“This!” I slapped my hands down on the paper. “You!” I pointed to Michael. “And this!” I gestured to all of us. “This is all just too much. It’s too fucked up,” I finished breathlessly.
“I don’t get it. It’s just a building, Siena. We’re not talking about global warming or ending world poverty. It’s just a hotel,” Michael said.
“No, it’s not.” My eyes filled with tears. “It’s notjust a hotel. You don’t get it.” I swiped at the tears. I didn’t know how to explain it to him. How would he understand the history and the meaning of this place? He was a stranger, an outsider. He wasn’t one of us. Michael didn’t get that this hotel would probably be the end of our winery. His father would most likely find a way to buy my grandparents out if he wasn’t already scheming to do so.
“What don’t I get? This is business, Siena. It’s nothing personal.”
“That’s exactly right. It’s not personal.That’sthe problem.”
“I don’t see how that’s a problem.”
“Of course you wouldn’t!” I raised my voice.
His head jerked back in shock. “I know you’re not shouting at me right now. Right?”
“Yes! Yes, I’m shouting at you!” My chest heaved up and down.
He put a hand on my shoulder and remained the image of calm, cool, and collected. “Siena, calm down.” I angrily shrugged him off. I would not let him touch me right now.
How could he be so relaxed? It infuriated me. “Calm down? Calm down?Idiota.” I began shouting in Italian. I talked with my hands, my words guiding my gestures, as my feelings and frustrations all came bubbling up inside me. I pointed an accusatory finger, appealed to the heavens above, and shook my fist at him. I was cursing him, his father, and his entire family. I stomped around the kitchen, raising my hands, going on and on about the winery and all our work, our family, our history, our legacy. How we weren’t going to just bend over and take it, no matter what.
I heard Grams yelling. “Siena Giuliana Moretti! You stop it. Stop it right now! Now, you just calm down.”
