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“Maybe. I don’t know because I don’t have a damn clue what the hell mess you’ve made. Daire might be a fucking asshole, I won’t fight you on that, but he was right. We are in this because of you.”
By “we,” she meant her and her mother. Except she’d learned that Anne wasn’t honest about a lot of things. Sure, the full story was never forthcoming. That was obvious. Always had been. But learning she didn’t even know her mother’s real name shook her to the core.
His affect flattened to match the deepening of his stern tone. “Your mother and I made choices. A long time ago, Tess. We did what we thought was best.”
“Yeah,” she said and nodded, walking up close. “And look where that got her.”
His height was around the same as Daire’s, so at least in a physical sense, Tess was used to asserting herself to someone of his stature. His dark grey hair had flecks of white around his temples and ears. He might be older, but he definitely wasn’t inept or feeble. Whatever H was, if he’d raised Daire, he’d taught him to be a formidable foe.
“Blame me for your mother’s death,” he said. “You should. It was my fault. She was in danger because of me.”
“Daire hasn’t seen you for a year,” she said. Danny had told her that. “Your precious Olympus, which I guess is where we just were, is abandoned. Whatever you did there, it’s over, by your own admission.” She took his lack of a reply as confirmation. “So where have you been? Daire found us.” Tess exaggerated his name because although she said it, she didn’t know the man. Not really. “You could’ve found us if you wanted to… My mom didn’t go to the Rotunda every year. I know because we traveled together. If you want me to put money on it, I say you left your letters where we lived. You delivered her letters to wherever we were, didn’t you? Most of them anyway. That means you found us before. She had to put hers in the locker because she didn’t have the skill or the resources to track you, which was probably exactly how you wanted it.”
“How did you—”
“I’m not quick,” she said. “I procrastinate. It’s a bad habit. Anything negative, if I can put it off, I will. That said, I’m not afraid of hard work. I do what needs to be done. I never, ever turned my back on her.”
“No?” he said, grabbing her arm to pull her back when she tried to turn away. “You put her through hell. What was running from her supposed to achieve? Every single fucking time—”
“Don’t swear at me,” she said, yanking her arm from his grip. “I don’t give a damn who you are. You do not speak to me that way!”
“You are my child! You will respect—”
“I respect people who earn my respect,” she argued. “You wanna put your hands on me in anger, do it! If you’re too bull-headed and ignorant to use your words, fists will do the job for you! That’s how you raised Daire, right?”
“I never—”
“My mother taught me to respect myself. Taught me to value my own contribution. Taught me strength. No matter what happens, no matter what blows we have to take, we carry on. We fight. We survive and we don’t ever bow to bullies! Not ever! Easy doesn’t mean right, sir.” The sneer of the last word came as she stepped back. “This is a test of my strength. I don’t know if I’ll pass or fail, but I am in control of me. Me and no one else. I won’t be led, not by you, not by anyone.” Passing him in the narrow trailer, she paused at the door. “Oh, and my momma taught me never to start a fight… but she sure encouraged me to finish them.”
Shoving at the door, it hit Daire and sprang back. She shoved it again, forcing the guard to step aside.
“Out of the way,” she snapped, leaping down from the trailer to stalk across the grass toward the water. Half a dozen strides later, adrenaline coursing through her, she swung around to storm back. Not to go inside, but to stop in front of the sentry. “And you’re no fucking better.” Daire stared over the top of her head, eyes front, expression blank. “You did a good job. Excellent. Superb. I believed it. I did. I’d be lying and you wouldn’t believe me if I said anything else.” She sucked in a breath. “But you did me a favor. Thank you. My first real test out in the world on my own and I failed. You were very good at your job. You won. Well done.” Her voice lowered to a hiss. “But don’t think for one second that you broke me. No one has that power over me. No one has that right. Your lies made me stronger. I’m not weaker because you’re a sick sonofabitch out looking to get his depraved kicks any way he can. You opened my eyes. I didn’t want to be alone. Because of you, now I know there’s no other way to be.”
Returning to her previous path, Tess breathed deep, ignoring the weight of tears on her lashes. Weakness would be the downfall of anyone who gave into it. H might be an overbearing, controlling tyrant, but he hadn’t given in to feelings or let weakness rule him. Maybe she should take a leaf from her father’s book and focus only on what was best for her.
It didn’t matter that she didn’t like him. It didn’t even matter that Daire was his shadow. She could learn something from their cutthroat, detached, do-anything-for-the-job attitudes. Danny had once told her she wasn’t a robot. If what she’d seen of Daire was any indication, he could be exactly that. If that was what it took to survive, Tess would have to learn to be the same way.
TWENTY-FOUR
AFTER PACING ON THE lake’s shore for a while, Tess sat on the bank tossing stones into the black abyss. It got cold and she got tired. For a brief moment, she considered going to sleep right there. But that might lead the men to believe they’d beaten her.
Even though it had been a mistake to trust this Daire, he was the one who’d done wrong. If anyone should be ashamed to face anyone, it should be him. H was no saint either. Not that she’d claim to be, though she’d never gone around issuing orders to strangers and talking down to them, demanding respect.
So she’d left the water and returned to the trailer, ignoring Daire, as he ignored her, to go inside. As much as she didn’t want to sleep in her and Danny’s sheets, doing anything else could imply defeat. And she was not defeated.
That was how she ended up in the bed, fast asleep behind the privacy curtain. It offered little protection; a little was better than none. H had declared Daire would be outside all night. Good for him. It gave her a reprieve from seeing him.
Something startled her awake.
What had…? Sitting up, she pushed her hair from her face. Something… A noise? A feeling? Whatever it was, something unsettled her. Scooching to the end of the bed, she grabbed a hoodie from the hook by the privacy curtain and ventured out of the bedroom. The trailer was dark. Instead of finding someone in the dinette bed or recliners, nothing was out of place.
“Thirty!” came a shout from outside.
Still half-asleep and confused, she pushed open the door to find H standing twenty feet away from the trailer, looking up at something.
“What are you doing?” she asked, her voice croaky.
H glanced at her. “Go back to bed, Tess.”
