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“I discipline my men. I give orders. I am certain. I don’t hesitate.”
Still confused, Tess glanced left and right. “Uh huh.”
“It’s been a long time since I had to communicate with anyone who didn’t work under me. The exception would be the Six, Zeus, and Poseidon, but I can’t be anything less than assured with them. It’s a sign of weakness to be… timid.”
“I’m sure all of this is completely true, though I have no idea why you’re telling me.”
He stepped closer. “You don’t work under me and you’re not a threat poised to destroy me.”
“Not last time I checked,” she said, folding her arms.
“You’re my daughter and I haven’t… It’s easier for me to occupy roles I know. Roles I’m familiar with. I’m used to objectives and targets.”
Her head moved side to side. “Still, I don’t get why…”
“There is no objective with you, and I am not familiar…” In a sign of discomfort, he shifted his feet and cleared his throat. “I don’t know how to be a father to a daughter.”
Tess might say he didn’t know how to be a father to a son either. Sure, he’d raised Daire, but raised him as a soldier rather than just his child.
“You wish I hadn’t been born. I get it. I do. In a lot of ways, it makes sense. I understand why. But it’s not an easy truth to accept. It stings, but that’s on me.”
“I didn’t say that,” he said, meeting her eye. “At the time, yes, I considered that it wasn’t best for Carrie to have you… But the time I stayed with you, while we lived as a family, that was the happiest time of my life.”
Quickly followed by what had to be one of the worse when she was taken and imprisoned at Olympus. From then on, she and her mother were used against him. Tess understood why she wasn’t his favorite person.
“I appreciate you saying that.”
She did. Though Tess wasn’t sure it changed anything. Figuring it was on her to alleviate the awkward moment, she backed up a step. If she slipped away, he could go back to whatever he’d been doing with Daire.
“You trust Ares,” he said.
Tess stopped. “Was that a question or a statement?”
“It’s a surprise,” he said, peering at her. “He didn’t tell you the truth of who he was and then led you to me.”
“You didn’t hurt me.”
“I could have,” Harry said. “If I didn’t hesitate, I would’ve killed you. That’s why he led you there, to punish me. Why did you forgive him so easily?”
Tess smiled. “It wasn’t easy. At the time, there were limited options. There still are. Where would I run to? If he wanted me dead, he could’ve killed me there in that room in front of you or any time before or since. Sometimes it’s better the devil you know.”
“But you didn’t know him. He was pretending to be someone else.”
“Funny thing about living your life on the run,” Tess said. “I’ve spent my whole life telling people I’m someone I’m not. Spent every day not quite telling the truth, even to people I cared about. I know what it’s like to be on the other side, to be concealing something that I wish I could share. I’ve had friends and boyfriends who speak of a future I know there will never be. I’ve been a liar my whole life.”
“You forgave him because you thought it would be hypocritical not to?”
“I forgave him because…” Tess wasn’t sure she could trust her father, but the truth wasn’t meant to benefit him. She told it in hope that the man inside the Beast would reap the rewards. “Because he has never had anything that wasn’t Olympus. He doesn’t know anything but the mission and the greater purpose. Doing what he did to me was shitty, but it was what you programmed him to do. Acquire a target, track the target, eliminate the target… The fact that he didn’t follow through on that last point is a testament to the man he is on the inside… not the operative you manufactured.”
Harry came a little closer. “You pity him.”
“No,” she said, her certainty unwavering. “Actually, in a lot of ways I envy him. Like you, he’s always had purpose. He’s achieving something with Olympus every day. My only objective was to never let myself care about anyone, to stay on the move, be unremarkable. I didn’t get to have hopes and dreams. I didn’t get to pursue a career. As you said, I can’t even expect simple pleasures like home and husband and kids. This is the life I’ve always had, and they say you can’t miss what you’ve never known… But when mom died, when I stopped to look and found myself completely alone, I had something to miss. Her. My support system. My only friend. My only link to who I really was. My history. Everything I was existed in her… and when I die, there won’t be anything of our life left.” She narrowed her eyes. “You can’t know what that’s like. You’ll always exist in Olympus, both of you will. The world won’t know your names, but your history is locked up in the institution. Me?” Tess smiled though it wasn’t out of joy. “I’ll simply fade away. It’ll be like I never existed… So, I guess, in the end you will get what you always wanted. Congratulations.”
Turning around, she started toward the door into the main house.
Harry spoke before she got there. “Do you want to grab a burger?” Tess stopped to look at him over her shoulder. “Nothing flashy, somewhere quiet.”
“This is Vegas.”
