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CHAPTER 21
Lost in Thought
Lynn
I turnfrom Trevor’s hotel room door with my shoulders slumped. There’s no answer. I was sure he and Tom would still be here.
I pull my hands up into the sleeves of my thin sweater and wrap my arms around my middle. I’m so lost in my thoughts; I walk right out into the rain. I stand outside on the curb, looking around, not caring that the rain has picked up and is pouring down on me, soaking my clothes through.
I feel lost. All the pain and emotions I’ve been ignoring come rushing over me. My shoulders shake as a sob rips from my lips.
I must look like I’m crazy, but I don’t care. I’m too numb to care about anything. I close my eyes and tighten my arms around myself to keep my insides in. I can’t help feeling like they’re going to fall out at my feet.
There’s a sound that throws me back in time. I don’t know what it is or where it comes from, but it’s a trigger. I’m in the stable with my sister as she brushes Snow.
“What’s it like?” I asked as I looked at her from my perch on the little stool I brought in with me.
“What’s what like?” she said between cooing at Snow and humming to herself.
It’s the humming that’s brought on my curiosity. She’d been doing so all morning. I knew what she’d been up to.
“You know what I’m talking about. You and Cliff. You two had sex, didn’t you?”
She looked at me and narrowed her eyes. I giggled and tossed some hay at her. I caught her coming into the house late last night. Her dress was on backward and she had this glowing smile on her face.
She sighed and hugged her arms around Snow’s neck. “It was wonderful. I’ve never felt more connected to him. If I ever questioned things before, I know now that he’s the one,” she breathed.
“So you’re saying I should wait for the one?” I asked.
She released Snow and looked over at me. Her brows pinched. We talked about everything, so I didn’t think I was prying or overstepping her boundaries.
“I think you should do what your heart tells you. I followed my heart and I couldn’t be happier.”
“What if I can’t trust my heart?”
She put the brush down and came to sit on the hay next to me. I looked into her pretty brown eyes as she combed my hair out of my face. I loved when she did that.
“Cakes, if you can’t trust your heart, you can’t trust yourself. If you’re not ready to trust yourself, boys are the last thing you should have on your mind.
“When you find the one who deserves you, it’s all going to click into place. Nothing else will matter and your heart will know. You will know.”
I nodded and pulled her into a tight embrace. She chuckled in my ear. I pulled away and looked her in the eyes.
“What?”
“Besides, Trev doesn’t bite his tongue. You will know when he’s ready and I’m sure you’ll be in agreement when he is,” she laughed.
“Oh, shut it,” I said and rolled my eyes. “I could only dream of Trev being my first. I think you’re the only one who will have a Monroe to call her own.”
“Oh please. I know my best friend. He fights so hard to keep you happy and safe because he’s in love with you.
“One day, he’s going to realize that and honey, he’s coming for you. You just be ready, my dear Babycakes. Mark my words.” Her laughter then rang out through the stable.
“Lynn?”
My name is called, snapping me from the memory. I open my eyes and turn to look in the direction his voice comes from. I have to blink the rain from my lashes to see him clearly.
Trevor looks down at me with concern written all over his face. He hands the box in his hands to Tom, then tugs his button-down off and holds it over my head to lead me back into the hotel.
