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“Lord knows I love him because he’d be on his own if I didn’t.” She sighs. “But look at what he blessed me with. Can you fault a man who’s able to cocreate perfection?”
She kisses my forehead then whispers in my ear. “You’re going to be fine. This is just a hiccup in your story.”
I wrap my arms around her to give her another hug. I know she’ll do her best to talk to my daddy. However, he’s so angry with me I’m not sure how much it will help, Nanna might be the only one who can get through.
I watch as my mother climbs into her car and drives away. Nanna stands beside me with her gaze fixed on me. I’m almost too nervous to look at her. I don’t know why.
“Go on and get your bag. I got some pie and ice cream inside. Made you some fried chicken, mustard greens, mac and cheese, and corn bread.
“You can set up your new room however you like. We can head to the store later. You’ll have to drive though. These old eyes ain’t what they used to be.”
I give her a smile and grab my bag up. I’m already feeling a little better. After showing me to my new room in her new house, Nanna takes me to the kitchen where she fixes me a bowl of sweet potato pie and vanilla bean ice cream.
I note the apple and blueberry pies she has cooling still. I get my baking from my nanna. She has always shown me so much patience.
I hum as I dig into the delicious pie and ice cream. It tastes like heaven. I think Nanna has outdone herself. I turn to ask Pook if she tasted this.
When I see she’s not there, my shoulders sag. I shake my head. For that one moment, I forgot. This was something we used to do together.
My chest tightens and I gasp, reaching to rub the ache. Not having Pook or Trev around has only caused me to regress. That hole in my heart has torn open wider than ever.
“I miss her too,” Nanna says as if reading my thoughts.
“How do you know?”
“You sat in your usual spot, leaving hers to your right. When Trev would come along with you two, he’d been on her other side.
“You’d always take your first bite and turn to her. Then you’d say something and the two of you would fill my home with laughter. I still remember the day that laughter took on a masculine tone.
“I’ve watched Trevor grow into a young man. I’ve also watched as he started to peek around your sister to stare at you. If you ask me, Moses just feels like a fool for missing it.”
I take in a sharp inhale. “Nanna, I messed up. I messed up so bad,” I sob.
“Tell me all about it. What really happened?”
I swallow back my tears and tell her the story from start to finish, leaving out all the sex. However, when I get to the end, there’s a knowing twinkle in her eyes.
“Your daddy is right about one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“You’re too young to focus solely on a boy.” She holds her hands up to stop me as I go to cut in. “I like Trevor. He’s a sweet young man. I don’t doubt that he cares for you. In fact, I think he does, deeply.
“What I’m trying to say is, if you have to choose. Which, knowing my son, he’s not going to back down from that. You need to think about your future.
“Your voice is extraordinary. You play that guitar like nobody’s business. God has blessed you with tremendous talent.
“This isn’t your run-of-the-mill opportunity you’ve come into. Can you live with giving that up? Or will you someday begin to resent Trevor as that music builds inside you?”
I look down into my melting bowl of ice cream and pie. My mouth feels bitter and sour. My mother said pretty much the same thing.
I love Trev more than anything, but I don’t know if I’d be happy if I didn’t at least see how far I could take things with my music. If I fail, that’s a different story, but it doesn’t feel right not to try.
It’s almost like I’d be failing Pook. I don’t think I could live with that. Picking up my spoon, I begin to stab it into my bowl.
“The truth hurts, don’t it?”
“Yeah, it does.” I sigh and scrub my hand over my face. “I just need to talk to him.”
