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Besides, there is still the issue of her missing memories. Perhaps she will not be inclined towards mating until that fog has lifted.
And so I wait. I will wait as long as she needs.
By day, we continue our slow walk back to the Mercenia hut. In the dreamspace on the second night, my Brooks admonishes me for thinking her weak and needing to walk so slow.
“I know those boots hurt your feet,” I say. “Even at this pace, we should beat my chieftess back to the hut. I would not rush you unnecessarily and have you suffer pains.”
It takes a moment, but she inclines her head to me in acknowledgement.
“They do hurt. Mercenia provides us with the best equipment, but clearly these boots are not the best for this environment.” She eyes my own feet, her expression pensive. “Would you show me how to make a pair like yours?”
“It is my brother, Endzoh, who is skilled at leather working. He will make you some, but it might be that we have a pair that will fit you already. Your feet are not so tiny as those of my sisters.”
She purses her lips at this, as if my words have displeased her.
“You wish to make some? Endzoh is quiet, but he has been training Khadija in warrior ways. I am sure he would not mind showing you the ways of leather working, if you desire to learn.”
“For my big clown feet?” she says, voice sharp.
I frown, then, feeling daring, slip a hand round her ankle, elevating her foot so it is before my face, inspecting it.
“I do not think there is anything funny about your feet, linasha. They look quite normal to me.”
I look up in time to see her mouth open and close, as if she hunts for a response, but it dances out of reach of her tongue. Emboldened by the fact that she does not pull out of my grip, I rub my thumb along the arch of her foot, where I am certain it must ache from the walking we have done, even though we have gone slow. Her aches will not follow her here into the dreamspace, but perhaps the memory of them does. Even if it does not, there is a pleasure in being touched this way that I would give to her. And perhaps through my giving it, she will start to understand that her pleasure is very important to me.
Her eyes widen, her lips parting, I think, to protest. But the only sound that escapes them is a satisfied one, her eyes fluttering closed. Further emboldened, I draw her feet into my lap and begin to rub them properly.
“Perhaps you would like me to do this for you in the waking world also?” I suggest when she is pliant and relaxed in my hands. “After our next long day of walking.”
“They aren’t long days of walking,” she says. “They’re long days of barely getting anywhere.”
I laugh, and she smiles in response, just a twitch of her lips to start with, but gradually growing into the widest smile I have ever seen from her. My heartspace thunders in my chest at the sight, and I send my thanks to Lina once again for choosing this female for me.
CHAPTERTHIRTEEN
Brooks
For all I’ve been giving Maldek grief about how slowly he wants to walk, it actually turns out he times it perfectly. On the fourth day, we arrive back at the Mercenia hut early. Early enough that I think he stopped when we could easily have kept going and arrived last night. A ploy to get one more night alone in a tent with me, perhaps.
Only he didn’t capitalise on it. Didn’t even move his bedding any closer to mine.
My frustration that he won’t give me any sort of clear sign of his intentions only serves to prove that I still want him to. Despite my efforts to worry about untangling all this later, I’ve almost forgotten about my mission these past few days, the research team that I still don’t know the fate of.
One, learn everything I can.
Like how nice it feels when Maldek works his thumbs over the soles of my feet, massaging out the aches.
Only to leave me with other aches in other places when he doesn’t go any further.
Not the sort of things I meant to learn. I haven’t even remembered anything new, haven’t cleared any more of the fog in my head.
The moment we cross into the open space of the Mercenia base, it’s clear we’re not the only early morning arrivals. Two well-groomed raskarrans are standing beside another, who is sweating and breathing hard, apparently having run quite a distance to get here. They hand him a canteen and he takes it with a grateful expression, drinking deep. Thirst quenched, he grips the shoulder of the raskarran in front of him, saying something in a breathy voice. I see the moment he spots us approaching in the way his eyes widen. Then all three of them are rushing to greet us, mostly crowding round Maldek, but I get swept up in that. Maldek angles himself in front of me just a little, creating a bit of distance between me and these raskarrans I don’t know, while the new arrival grabs the other two by the arms, pulling them back. Although I don’t understand the words that are spoken between them, I can read contrition in the expressions of the two well-groomed raskarrans as they turn to me, greeting me by tapping their fists to their hearts and bowing their heads.
Even these two, not looking wild with travel grime, could easily be intimidating. One is older, broader even than Maldek - an enormous slab of muscle that hasn’t diminished despite the grey at his temples. The younger one is leaner by far, but moves in that same precise way that Maldek does when he’s fighting. The Mercenia briefing runs through my mind, supplying a way to interpret their appearance. Dangerous, savage. But they’re both smiling broad, goofy smiles, exchanging excited words with Maldek. Much like with Maldek, I can’t find any part of me that’s afraid of them, despite the memory of fangs and claws lurking in the fog of my mind.
The third raskarran is smaller again, quieter. He greets Maldek, but quickly turns to me.
“Hurt?” he says.
