AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I think it befitting a male of my great skill and handsomeness that I have the largest hut in Lina’s forests,” I say, trying to summon some of my usual self. “It would certainly afford me some peace and quiet - something that is in short supply in the village these sunsets.”
“And of course, a harem of twenty females to yourself?” Delfom says, laughing.
I have not told them about my linasha. I have not told anyone, not even my own brother.
Because you know you do not deserve her.
I give Delfom a little shrug, as if any male should wish for twenty females. Joke with him as he has tried to joke with me. “There is a lot of affection in my heartspace to go around.”
Razhan snorts. “We all have a lot of affection, brother, and for most of us, we’ve had no outlet for it since we’ve been males full grown. Yet, somehow, I don’t think there is space in any one heartspace to hold twenty females.”
“Perhaps I shall just keep half of them, then.”
“Ten is a far more reasonable number,” Delfom says, affecting giving the scenario serious consideration.
His fake musings do not last long, and soon we are all laughing at our own silliness. It chases away some of the disquiet in their heartspaces for a time.
I only wish it would do the same for mine.
* * *
We sit together as we do most nights - until the fire is burned low, the moons are high in the sky, and the chill of the air starts to creep into our skin, numbing our toes in our shoes and setting shivers in our bodies. The females seem to prefer the cooler weather, but it is not my favourite. They speak of the cold season as though it were still far warmer than they are accustomed to. It is one of the less troubling things about their world, but I find I dislike the thought of them enduring cold worse than this.
Karvin is the first to rise, stretching his back and shoulders as he stands, coaxing some limberness back into his stiff body.
“I think it is time we were to our beds,” he says. “I will take the first patrol this night.”
“And I am due the second,” I say, rising and stamping my feet, wiggling my toes inside my boots.
“Do either of you wish for company?” Razhan asks.
Karvin shakes his head. “Get your sleep, brother. Save yourself for your own patrols next sunset.”
Razhan nods, but looks uneasy as he turns to the Mercenia hut, heading for whichever of the rooms he has claimed as his own. None of us sleep well beneath the straight, straight walls, and I think this is why Razhan is so ready to forsake his rest for extra patrols. At least the time passes faster when you are out walking Lina’s trees, eyes and ears open to anything approaching.
So far, there have been none try to approach the hut. I do not know if this is because Basran and his tribe claimed this as their territory, and any other tribes in the area know better than to tangle with them, or if there are simply no others nearby. Gregar’s biggest concern was that Basran’s tribe would return, try to reclaim their home once they had regrouped. Dazzik may have cut off the merka beast’s lashes when he took out Basran, but there are still fangs and claws left to the tribe. Wily, clever hunters, hardened warriors. Survivors, all of them, in some way.
But some portion of them found their way to Darran’s now abandoned village and took up residence there. Envoys sent from our tribe to theirs were met with guarded hospitality, their new chief, Jestaw, eager to set them back on Lina’s path. They are perhaps not comfortable neighbours, but there is distance enough between our village and theirs that we might grow accustomed to one another in time.
As for the rest, there has been no sign of them. Perhaps they have retreated to some dark part of the forests, licking their wounds as they go, waiting for a moment to strike. Or perhaps they have simply turned their backs on this place, pushing it from their headspaces and moving on to new things. It is impossible to know, and so we must keep watch. Until the females are awoken and brought into the safety of our village, we must remain.
“You sleep also,” Karvin says to me. “I will wake you when it is your turn.”
I nod. I will try to sleep. I know I need it. I am no use to my linasha weak and weary. But I find sleep evades me often these sunsets of late. Before Sam was returned to us, my headspace was filled with the horrors I was so sure she must be enduring. Her happy return to the village chased some of these troubling imaginings away, but they were promptly replaced by thoughts of my linasha.
What will she be like? Will she find me appealing? Will she like the shape of my face?
Will it shame her greatly to know she has been mated to a failure?
It should have been a pleasant change from worrying over Sam, but that little voice is always there in my ear, making sure it is not.
This night is no different. Tiredness hangs over me like a heavy weight, but sleep does not take me, my headspace spinning and spinning. I try picturing the future that will be mine when my linasha wakes. I have watched my brothers’ lives change as the dreamspace forms for them, seen their joys grow so large they cannot keep them from their eyes. Gregar, Anghar, Vantos, Shemza. Even Endzoh, who does not so readily let his feelings shine on his face, is hard pressed to keep himself from smiling whenever he is with his Carrie.
And I am grateful to my goddess, so very, very grateful, that I am about to find my own joy this way. A linasha. A blessing I never believed I would receive after the sickness ravaged our people, killed all the raskarran females. I will do everything in my power to ensure she is the happiest of all the human females. Never will she have a moment to doubt my devotion to her and the family we will make together.
Younglings. The thought makes my heartspace feel full enough to burst. I would have twenty if I could, but it is not for me to bear them, birth them. Three would be a good number, I think, and a fair expectation. A healthy number, but not unmanageable. Two sons and a daughter, two daughters and a son - I have pictured all the variations, imagined their faces. My raskarran features softened by my linasha’s human ones.
Why would any good female want you to seed her?
