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Do I tell her everything? Do I tell her about the Open House? Do I tell her only bits and pieces and leave her to figure it out? Do I brush it all under the rug?
My hands gripped the wheel as I stared at the moving pavement in front of me.
“I don’t think it’s a good fit for him.”
Silence filled the car as I waited for a response.
“What?” Serena finally blurted out.
“I don’t think he should be—”
“Why are you concerned with that?” she asked, confusion thick in her tone.
There was no way to answer her without either sounding completely crazy or lying, so I settled with a different reason.
“I don’t know why he’s even thinking about this now.”
“What do you mean, Cel?Of course,he’s thinking about it. His brother just died. It’s probably theonlything he’s thinking about.”
A frustrated groan sat in the bottom of my throat as I let my head tip back, still keeping my eyes on the road.
“I know I’d be the same way if you died,” she added.
With the sudden clarity, I wanted to smash my head on the steering wheel. She was so right, and I was so blind, I wanted to take back everything I had already said. My mind has been on Uncle Russ and the thingshedid rather than Uncle Lucas and the things he was going through.
As I turned left onto a hidden street, the trees that lined the road began to look familiar. I knew that if I kept going, it would only be a few more seconds before the call would drop, so I quickly pulled off the side of the road and placed the car in park.
“Sorry, Serena,” I exhaled. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I just… I don’t want to lose anyone else, you know?”
She matched my sigh. “I know. I feel the same way. But you can’t let that keep you from living a normal life. Shit happens, and it sucks, but we have to move on.”
“You’re right,” I admitted, letting my hands rest in my lap. I glanced around to the trees and to the bright sunshine peeking through, knowing it was about to fade away and turn to a gloomy rainfall.
“Seriously, Cel, are you okay? You seem like you have a lot going on.”
I nodded, even though I knew she couldn’t see me. “Yeah, I think I’ll be fine. I just need to clear my head and try tonotthink about death for a day.”
The words were meant to be lighthearted and sarcastic, but they sounded incredibly real, even to me. I forced the unanticipated feeling away.
“Can you give Nolan a hug for me, please?” I asked before she could call me out on anything else.
“Of course, I can. But you know, you can always come over and give him one yourself.”
I released a wide smile, one that felt genuine. “I plan on it. I’ll call you soon, okay?”
“Okay. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
The call disconnected from the car speakers, leaving the inside silent, and I drove back onto the road. Sure enough, within the next fifty feet, my phone disconnected from any sort of service. The skies began to turn a light grey, and a thin mist lined the pavement. And as I continued on, the rain came, the fog thickened, and the skies darkened.
Here I was, back at Purgatory.
With the rainfall soaking the hood of my jacket, I trotted up the stairs of Caius’ house. When I reached the top, I noticed the front door was barely open and unlatched. I narrowed my eyes slightly and decided to push open the door.
“Caius?” My voice echoed in the main corridor with no response.
This is weird. Typically, Caius is always ready for me in every sense.
