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I gape at her. “Really?”
“Yep,” she grins, popping the P. “And he doesn’t even fucking mind one bit. It’s a funny story they’re both more than happy to tell. All you have to do is ask.”
Shaking my head, I grin. “I don’t think I need to hear it.”
“And I once got my period during—”
Waving my hands in the air, I interrupt her. “Okay, okay, I get it,” I laugh. “Anyway, it’s not literal. It’s a mnemonic list.”
“A what now?”
“It’s like… it means you come up with words that represent the letter as the thing you try to remember. For instance, a well-used one is Roy G Biv.”
Alana scrunches her nose in confusion. “Who’s Roy?”
Realizing I’m doing a terrible job at explaining, I compose myself before answering her. “Okay, so, Roy G Biv is not an actual person. But each letter represents the colors in the rainbow. R-O-Y-G-B-I-V is for red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet.”
“Ohhh, I got it.” She nods eagerly. “So your list is Bastard Can Fuck Drenched Pussy Loudly.”
“Exactly,” I confirm eagerly. “Heblackmailedme with lewd videos, made mecrawl, forcedme to suck him off,destroyeda letter from my mom, didn’t show up toprotectme and my family, and, last,leftme outside after using me while I was drunk.”
Alana takes my hand and squeezes it. “Why are you saying Grayson wasn’t there to protect your family?”
Tears burn behind my lids at the memory of that night. “Because he wasn’t,” I choke out. “I don’t remember seeing him, and I’m pretty sure Gunner told me he was the one who saved me.”
At the mention of Gunner, Alana makes a hissing sound that has me looking at her through wide eyes. Her usually beautiful features are twisted in a mask of pure, unadulterated hatred.
“You need to ask Grayson about that,” she says sternly. “Promise me you won’t just brush it off.”
I nod, stupefied by her behavior.
“Now, about your list. Do you have any idea what to do to get back at Grayson?”
Biting down on my bottom lip, I shake my head. “No,” I admit with a defeated sigh. “It’s not like I can force him to crawl, or drag his ass outside while he’s sleeping.”
Alana smiles slyly. “No, you can’t do any of that. How far are you willing to go here, Zoe?”
Ice spreads in my stomach as I think about the things Grayson’s done to me. “As far as I need to,” I hiss.
Unbidden, memories of the way Grayson acted at the cabin come to mind. His vulnerability, and the things he told me about his dad. I realize that I already have leverage on him, though I’m not sure I can bring myself to use it. Not only is it extremely personal, but revealing someone’s innermost secrets is a different kind of betrayal.
I’m not exactly sure why I’m so reluctant to use this against him. It’s not like he doesn’t deserve it, or hasn’t done worse to me. Fuck, I don’t know. Maybe I’m just too weak to go for the jugular.
The thought of that being the case, causes my brain to short circuit. That’s the only excuse I have for the words that tumble from my mouth.
“Grayson killed his dad.”
The words are so rushed, I can see Alana taking her time making sure she heard me correctly.
She arches her brow. “Really?”
I nod as I suck my bottom lip between my teeth. “Yeah, and he obviously feels really bad about it.”
Feeling like the secret is too much for me to carry on my own, I tell Alana the story Grayson told me at the cabin. Every now and then I do feel a twinge of guilt, but not enough to stop talking.
As soon as I’m done, Alana refills our glasses, and quickly empties hers again. “If you use that…” she trails off, letting the words hang in the air for several minutes, “There might not be any coming back from it. Can’t you just go with revenge porn or something? It’s a classic for a reason.”
I snort in disdain. Don’t I fucking know it.
