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“Good morning, Princess.”
Shit, I’ve been so lost in my thoughts, I didn’t notice Gray waking up. Turning to my side, I look at Gray as he slowly blinks his eyes open.
“Morning,” I answer, trying to force my voice to sound less doomy and gloomy than I feel.
“What’s wrong?” he asks immediately, shattering all hope that I’d be able to keep it to myself.
As I lick my dry lips, I consider simply not answering him, but I quickly push those enticing thoughts aside. Because I might be naïve and rash at times, but I’d like to think I learn from my mistakes.
The biggest mistake Gray and I are both guilty of is not talking. It’s not like we misunderstood each other, we just simply didn’t talk about things we should have. At the time, they never seemed all that important to me, but now they do. Hindsight really is a bitch.
“I don’t know who you saved,” I admit in a low tone.
He props his head up on his elbow. “What do you mean?”
That’s a good question, one I’m not sure I’m able to explain.
“I don’t know who I am anymore,” I say. When he looks even more confused, I let out a sigh. “I can’t recognize the girl I see in the mirror, Gray. I know it’s me, but I don’t feel like it. Hell, I don’t even feel like I’m in my own body.”
A strand of his messy waves falls into his eyes as he cants his head to the side. Slowly, so slowly it has to be deliberate,he lifts his hand and moves it out of the way. The action makes my heart contract because I know it’s for my benefit he’s slowing down.
“You’ve been through hell, so it’s only natural you need time to get used—” He stops talking when I shake my head vigorously and make a sound that resembles a growl.
“I know that,” I spit. “What I mean is that I don’t remember who I was before you kidnapped me, Gray. I used to like Pop Tarts and Reality TV. But now I don’t even know if I like that.”
Though he tries to hide it, I glimpse the guilt in his dark eyes at the mention of him kidnapping me. Fuck, I’m not trying to be cruel, but it’s the truth. That’s how far back it goes.
“I used to have what I thought was a picture fucking perfect family, and now I know that was a lie. My dad was cheating on mom with Irina. Fuck! He’s the reason mom and Leslie are dead. He wanted mom dead, and Leslie was just a casualty in his fucked up plans.”
The more I talk, the easier the words come. Each of them unfurls something inside me, something dark that’s wrapped itself around me like a security blanket. But now it’s loose, and I don’t know how to control it.
“Did you know that?” I ask, ignoring the shock marring Gray’s features. “Did you know that my dad had my mom and sister killed? That becoming a fucking widower was his payment for cleaning out your bank accounts for the Reapers?”
My voice grows louder and louder. I’m practically shouting at him as I push myself off the bed and begin pacing the length of the bedroom.
“No, Princess. I didn’t know any of that.”
I nod sharply to show him I heard his answer. “What about Gunner?”
As soon as I mention his name, Gray lets out a feral snarl. “What about him?”
His tone is unlike anything I’ve heard from him before, and it makes goosebumps spread across my skin.
“Did you know he’s alive? And that he… that he… he fucking wanted me to be his Old Lady, Gray. You have to have known that.”
I have no idea why I say that, because I don’t actually believe it. I’m just so fucking angry that I don’t know how to contain it.
“Yes,” I say, mostly to myself. “You had those fucked up bets. Why did you think he wanted to do those?”
Gray’s feet hit the floor with a thud, he’s moving so quickly I barely notice it. His eyes shine with thinly veiled malice, and anger rolls off him. Yet, I’m not scared, and I know in my heart that it isn’t aimed at me.
“I fucked up, okay?” he roars. “You’re right, Princess. The signs were right fucking there, but I was too lost in you to fucking look closer.”
The potency of his words is almost choking me as I feel them burrow beneath my skin, muscle, and bone, taking root in my fucking core.
“You’re not the only one,” I admit, my tone softer now. “He gave me hints. Saying shit like I wasn’t ready for him, and I never paid it much attention.” I throw my hands up in the air in pure frustration. “I thought it was just Gun-him being… well, him.”
We stare at each other for so long my legs begin to shake, but I don’t move or look away. There’s so much more I need to say, and need to know.
