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Don’t I know it?
“It gets me thinking,” I tell Colin. “You familiar with the myth of Atlas?”
Colin looks thrown as he tosses the ball back to me. “Huh?”
“The Titan who led the gods in a war against Zeus. He was punished by having to carry the heavens on his shoulders.”
“I’m familiar with that story.”
“Sometimes my stepbrother acts like he’s got the heavens on his shoulders, and he’s not happy about it, so he’s just thrashing about to punish anyone near him. What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I definitely don’t talk about my stepbro like that.”
“Shut the fuck up,” I say as I send the ball back to him.
We share a laugh.
Colin might have helped me cool down a bit, but I haven’t shared with him the dick move Atlas pulled on me today. It’s something I intend to confront him about, and when Colin heads out, I hop up and head over to my dresser, where I set Atlas’stee. I guess if he’s being a dick to me, I don’t have to worry about returning it.
I grab my phone off my desk and text him:Let me know when you’re finished with your date. Something I want to talk to you about.
6
Atlas
Taylor takes ahit from his cart, then holds it out to me as if to ask if I want any. I shake my head. He’s a little obsessed with his legal form of cannabis, but any form of weed has never been my thing. Not that I have anything against it. In the grand scheme of things, I think it’s a lot safer for most people than alcohol, but for me, it weakens my defenses. When I’m drunk, it’s easier for me to stay angry, but when I smoke pot, it’s like I can’t hold my secrets in anymore, and that shit just won’t do. I’d much rather be locked up tight.
Taylor tries to hand it to Brenner next, who’s sitting opposite me on my couch, but he turns Taylor down too.
Not long after I got home from Activate Kindness, they came over with pizza and wanting to play video games. They got extra pepperoni, my favorite, so even though I hadn’t felt like company tonight, I’d caved.
Sometimes I wonder why they put up with me. I’m more of a loner than both Taylor and Brenner, but even when I’m grumbly, they stick around and always have my back.
“You just want me to get goofy and sleepy so you can beat my ass at this game,” Brenner says.
“No, I was just being a nice guy. I don’t need to get you high to kick your ass. Atlas too. You guys suck.” Taylor isn’t wrong. He’s got gaming down to an art.
“Fuck off,” I reply. “I can’t help it if I have a life outsideCall of Duty.” Sometimes I think Taylor would rather play games than get his dick wet. He is ridiculously obsessed with his record. Which is fine, of course. To each their own, and if he’s not interested in sex, no biggie, but when we’re out, all he talks about is getting laid, so I think it takes getting him to leave home before he remembers there’s a whole wide world out there.
“Like being broody and grumpy?” he teases, clearly feeling the effects of what he’s smoking.
“Atlas is like one of those guys from teen romance movies. He just needs to work on pouting those lips a little more.” Brenner makes ridiculous kissy faces while also wrinkling his forehead in what must be his way of trying to mock intensity.
“Why aren’t you ever on my side?” I joke.
Before Brenner can reply, Taylor says, “That sparkling vampire. Atlas is like him.” He laughs. Definitely high.
“Oh my God. That’s so him!” Brenner practically bounces on my couch cushion. He’s got more energy than anyone I know.
“Keep talking shit to remind me why both of you are getting busy with your hands more often than not. Whatever I’m doing clearly works.” It’s a BS excuse. I’m the way I am because it’s a whole lot easier than dealing with how I really feel, but I can’t tell them that.
I stand, then walk over and plop down on the chair. Just as I’m pulling my cell out, Brenner says, “You think that shit will work with your stepbrother? Give me some tips, man. I want him.”
My pulse skyrockets. What the hell is it about Troy that makes everyone I know want to fuck him? Is it that boy-next-door vibe? The fact that outwardly he tries to keep the peace with everyone except me, but beneath the surface, we can all tell there’s something a little…darkerisn’t the word…maybewild…yeah, there’s something wild that wants to break free.
Clearly, I’ve put way too much thought into this, and if it wasn’t for both Dixon and Brenner saying something on the same day, maybe I wouldn’t be dissecting it.
Ignoring my friends, I let them lose themselves in the game while I check my phone. Speak of the devil. I can’t help smiling before I even read his message.
