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There’s nothing anyone can do. Just like before, it’s in my hands to blow up my family—or keep this terrible secret. I fucked up last time. I won’t allow myself to do it again. I just have to figure out how to tell Troy.
“All good,” I manage to get out.
They head back into the main part of the restaurant, and I splash water on my face before joining them, not speaking, just…watching Glen’s car.
Taylor and Brenner finish eating, we pay, and then Brenner says, “Let’s head out.” I follow him to the truck, knowing it makes me a coward that I don’t confront Glen now, but I just…fuck, I don’t have the energy.
Troy is at my apartment when I get there, waiting inside, and I immediately pull him into my arms, squeezing so tightly, I know it has to hurt.
“Hey, what’s wrong, A? Are you okay?”
Don’t leave me. Don’t let him take this from me.
I plaster a fake smile on my face. “I’m fine. Just missed you.”
He grins. “I missed you too.”
I feel like the biggest asshole in the world for not telling him right now, but I just can’t. Not yet.
I hug him again, holding on like everything will slip from my fingers if I loosen my grip even a little bit.
31
Troy
After getting readyfor work, I pull my laptop out of my backpack to shoot off an email to my new lab group in Thermo II. A tee slips out and lands on the bed. It’s not mine, but I recognize it from last night. A warm sensation stirs in my chest as I pick it up and take a whiff. There he is.
I recall Atlas looking particularly sneaky when he kissed me goodbye in his hoodie this morning, and now I know what that was about. But there was something else there too. Since I first saw him last night, he seemed on edge. Not regular stress stuff either. I know him too well. Something was really eating at him.
“I’ll tell you tomorrow. I promise. I just need a little time to process it.”
Whatever it is, it’s clearly breaking my A’s heart. I just hope that when we chat tonight, I can help take that load off his shoulders…and then maybe figure out something else to do with another of his loads.
I enjoy his scent once again on the present he left me, then shoot off my email and head to the shop. It’s one of those zone days. Been in that zone a lot since Atlas and I exchangedI love yous.
That was unexpected, but a lot of things have been unexpected since that wild step bet I thought was so ridiculous, impossible even. Not just to pass that test, but to think that A would actually suck my dick. If I close my eyes, I can still relivethat first time I had his mouth around my cock. It was confusing, shocking, and exciting all at once. Sums us up about right.
After finishing a drive belt replacement in the shop pit, I check my phone. I’m surprised I haven’t heard from my boyfriend yet, and I wonder if it has to do with whatever’s weighing on him. I figure it might be a good time to cheer him up, so I turn on my camera app and position my hand behind my head so that his name is in view on my wrist. It’s not the Sharpie one I initially drew, but henna, because of course after Atlas one-upped me, I had to improve my game. After positioning myself, I hold my phone over my head, workshopping the expression I’m gonna make, when I realize I got the damn light behind me, so I have to adjust.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I hear, catching me off guard. Walker steps around the car, gazing down into the pit. “Would hate to catch you actually doing any work.”
“And here I was thinking you were coming to visit me because you wanted to stop doing yours.”
He grins. “Give me your phone. I can take a better pic of you from up here.”
He’s right, so I hand it over, and he acts as my personal photographer.
“You gotta get my wrist in the shot,” I say, and he snaps a quick photo, which I send off to Atlas with the message:Busy day at the shop.
“It’s nice to see you like this,” Walker says.
“Like what?”
“Bouncing around. Stupidly in love.”
I am stupidly in love and not ashamed to admit it. I mean, obviously not, since I’m flaunting Atlas’s name on my fucking body.
“So I’m waiting for an apology,” he says.
