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I knew she wasn’t there, that she wouldn’t actually hear me, but I needed to unburden my heart for my own sake.
“I’ve been unfaithful.” I huffed an exhale and shook my head as I lowered my chin to my chest. “You told me to live, to find love again, but I’m struggling with moving on since it feels as though I’m betraying what we shared. There’s this…young man.”
I cringed against both arousal and a sense of grief.
Of course, my dead wife didn’t speak aloud or on a breeze like I would have preferred as I spilled my secrets. I told her about Sean and how he affected me. I even went into detail about the kiss we’d shared and when he’d gotten on his knees with eager determination to make me feel good.
He’d blown my mind, pun intended, and I admitted to that fact aloud too, my cock thickening and face growing hot from embarrassment.
“What should I do, Katie?” I muttered, needing a sign, something to help guide my steps. The ethical choice would be to stand firm in denying what I felt, but I grew weaker with every moment I spent in Sean’s presence.
I want you to be happy.
Katie’s last words whispered through my mind. What caused me to experience those feelings these days?
Sean—but he also turned my life topsy-turvy, making me desire things I shouldn’t as his professor.
Quiet moments slid past as they always did whenever I sought answers from a silent grave. Lingering sweat on my underclothing cooled as the sun slid behind the looming tree, leaving me in shadow.
Disappointed in the lack of answers I sought for, I pushed up to my feet, cursing my knees yet again even though I knew better than to sit on my haunches like I’d been for the previous half-hour or so. I kissed my fingertips and lay them atop my wife’s headstone. “See you next week, my love.”
Turning, I caught sight of a blond head I recognized regardless of the fifty or so feet separating us. Adrenaline leaked into my bloodstream. Had he followed me and pretended to spend time beside another grave? Or was he truly there for a loved one, a mere coincidence when I hadn’t run across him in the three years I’d been visiting Katie’s final resting place?
Perhaps his presence was the sign I’d asked of my dead wife…
Swallowing hard, I started his way, studying Sean’s slouched form. He picked at the grass and didn’t turn as I approached even though he had to hear my footfalls on the dry ground.
I stood behind him, unsure what to say, wondering why he hadn’t looked over his shoulder to see who stood behind him. No earbuds blocked his hearing, so he must have been aware someone drew near.
“Sean?” I murmured, not wanting to startle him just in case he hadn’t heard me for whatever reason.
“Is it strange that I knew it was you?” he asked, still facing forward. “That I could literally feel you? My skin prickles with awareness anytime you’re nearby.”
I could relate but wasn’t sure what to make of it for myself, so I kept quiet.
Sean heaved a loud exhale and tossed a blade of brown grass to his left. “My mom’s dad was the only man who loved me unconditionally and tempted me into believing I was a good kid.”
My gaze flicked over the gravestone, noting the same last name as my student. “I’m sorry for your loss,” I offered, meaning so much more than for the death of his grandfather. Sean’s tone had held too much grief, an unsettledness I often experienced whenever I thought of Katie.
“I’ve been visiting my wife’s grave for three years, and I’ve never seen you,” I went on when Sean didn’t speak.
He sat with his legs crossed and leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “That’s because I don’t visit Grandpop and Grandma nearly enough.”
“Do you believe they’re still here? Watching and wanting our happiness?” I questioned as a few remaining leaves rustled on a nearby tree.
“I like to think so,” he murmured.
Silence settled for a few minutes as I warred over what to say. We hadn’t shared a moment of non-sexually charged space before, and I found the passing minutes to be…pleasant. Comforting, even.
“I’ve never loved anyone but her,” I finally shared what I thought he had the right to know. It was a day for confessions, after all. “I’ve never experienced instant attraction, the kind of connection that binds two souls together from across a room before her either.”
Sean remained still, as though his breath held for the beat of ten long seconds. “And since her?”
I released a slow, steady exhale that took enough time Sean finally twisted his torso to look up at me with hope-filled eyes.
“You stated it better than I ever could,” I whispered the truth of how he made me come alive, how he made me want.
The hunger in his gaze was subtle for a change but kicked me in the groin as it always. He might not be on his knees, but those blue orbs peering up at me caused my usual craving for him to rise in more ways than one.
