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“She was the light of my life. My biggest supporter. A sweet, submissive soul who relied on me—fulfilled me in ways I never knew possible.”
Grief laced Matteo’s every word, and my heart broke for the man who’d lost the great love attainable only in poetry and romance books. His dark eyes peered off in the distance, hazed over as though lost in years past.
“She was diagnosed with cancer, and her parents blamed me for not sending her to the doctor sooner. It was too advanced to save her, and she suffered terribly.” Matteo heaved a despondent sigh, his broad shoulders slouching.
I’d been blamed throughout my life for all sorts of shit I wasn’t responsible for but nothing that severe. I reached over, laying my hand on his forearm. Even through his sweatshirt, electrical currents slid between us.
Matteo didn’t pull away but closed his eyes and swallowed audibly. “My parents and sister moved to South Carolina years ago, so I have no family here. Katie’s sister reaches out once every couple of months to share about their continued mourning, but other than that, I’m alone in my lingering grief.”
I squeezed his arm, and he shifted to lace his fingers through mine.
My heart rate picked up but different from the usual lust I experienced whenever a man of interest touched me. The connection between Matteo and I ran deeper on a level I’d never felt before. The pulses of energy were…addictive in a non-lustful way. Life-giving.
Matteo stared at our hands, lifting them slightly while rubbing his thumb over the back of mine with gentle caresses.
Muscles melting, I submitted to his touch, allowed him to lead since he seemed to prefer having control. And Katie’s gifting him that part of her had fulfilled him…fuck it all, I wanted to do the same for him. The desire to ask more about her, learn her ways, flooded through me—but emanating his dead wife wouldn’t give me what I wanted.
His appreciation for me. Sean, the wild, little shit, not some lovely, sweet woman he still held on a pedestal. I’d had enough comparison to those types throughout my life.
Flight instincts demanded I withdraw my hand and take the fuck off, but I held steady, soaking in every second of his attention I could even if his mind rested elsewhere.
“Tell me about your childhood,” I said instead of continuing on learning about a female I would never live up to. “Your likes. Dislikes. What you do for fun and how you spend your evening hours.”
He obliged me, and I did the same with his questions, explaining about Pop’s negativity and Micah having my back more often than not. I avoided discussing Elite since I wasn’t sure how he would take my being a part of an escort business—and selling my body alongside the other employees. I used the old communications description for the family business I helped manage. An ease of words flowed between us, unhindered by the guilt, fear, or discomfort that seemed to plague him at the college.
We sat in the cemetery and talked until the sun sank, leaving us both chilled through. Although I wanted to spend the entire night beside him beneath the stars, I’d grown too cold to stay any longer.
Matteo ambled alongside me as we made our way through headstones to my car. Exhaustion still clung to me, but being with him had boosted my spirits even further than they’d been earlier.
“If it wasn’t October,” Matteo said, “I’d see if you wanted to mountain bike with me sometime. Katie and I used to go every weekend, and now my bike sits unused in the basement.”
“Why, Professor D’Angelo,” I teased. “Were you thinking about asking me out on a date?”
“What? No! As friends,” he hastened to add, his cheeks flushed in the darkness.
Goddamn, did I want to kiss his face off. “So.” I chuckled, bumping his shoulder with mine as we walked. “Checking me out online, huh?”
He coughed.
“I’m not at all offended, Teach. Can’t say I’m innocent in doing the same with you. Couldn’t help myself any more than I can stop dreaming about you every night.”
Matteo cursed quietly, and the tension intensified between us in a heated flash.
We stopped by my car, and I toyed with my keys. He’d told me he’d jogged to the cemetery, but it had grown too dark for him to be running without some sort of reflection on his clothing. “Can I give you a ride home?”
He eyed me, his face in shadow from the lack of daylight. “Will you behave?”
“Hmm.” I checked him out from head to toes, itching to touch every inch of him. “Only if that’s what you really want.”
The energy between us rippled back and forth, attempting to draw us together like a couple of magnets, unable to deny the force of nature.
“I can’t have what I want,” he whispered.
I nodded at the answer I expected. He could. He just didn’t have the balls to take it.
But walls had tumbled down between us, so I couldn’t complain. And no way in fuck would they be erected ever again. The only two things I wanted erect between us were our dicks. Mine was half there, so I adjusted myself, drawing his gaze downward.
“Sean…”
