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Grinning, I put my hands on her knees. Her muscles briefly tensed under my skin, but she didn’t move her leg. I couldn’t keep from touching her. My restraint only lasted so long, and we were out here all alone. “Yes, but I like hearing it.”
“First, it was how you brushed off what I did for a living.”
My mood darkened. “You shouldn’t be shamed for it.”
“Well, I have been. But when that big order of toys showed up, I might’ve been a little impressed again.”
“You said you could use them.” I should’ve known what my kids needed.
She scooted closer. “See, that’s the thing. I’m used to having to justify what I think or want.” Before I could ask who made her feel like shit besides that motherfucker Frederick, she continued, “And then there was the dancing. Quite impressive, Stern Daddy. And the guitar. Then when you were shirtless.”
While I loved hearing what had mesmerized her, I couldn’t take credit for my appearance. Sure, I took care of myself, but Barns hadn’t been an ogre. Genetics got me a lot further than my sporadic workout routine. “None of that’s important.”
“Am I supposed to say the way you sit behind that desk for hours and make soooo much money is hot, Mr. Knight?”
She was using a sexpot voice on purpose, and goddammit, it was working. The sound was curling around my dick and inviting all the blood in my body to join. “Yes,” I said roughly. “I make a shit ton of money to keep our doors open and fix what my father ran improperly.”
“I admire your work ethic, but I’m not impressed by big, bossy businessmen who think they rule the world with a word. Just like I’m not impressed by men who get their way with their fists. I’m infatuated with the guy who’ll learn a dance for a girl. Who’ll take up an instrument just to get noticed. The man who takes his nanny out to look at the galaxy instead of going right home to get into her pants.”
“I told you that you didn’t have to—”
She put her finger on my lips. “I know. But your brothers gave us a night to be alone, and you’re not taking advantage of it. You’ve been worked up and tense, probably wondering how weird it’ll be when we get back to the house.”
“I have.” She had a sixth sense about what I was going through inside. Her understanding filled that empty hole in my chest. “I don’t want to go back on what we talked about.”
“Me either. You seem like a really good man, Cody.”
“I want you, Tova.” The confession came out ragged. I wasn’t a good man. I was just a flawed person who wanted to do the right thing. “I’ve wanted you since I met you, and I wasn’t ready.”
She huffed out a soft laugh. “Neither was I.” She flattened her hands on my chest. “I fled to Crocus Valley to lick my wounds while I was down, but you’ve done nothing but build me up.”
Anger at how she lost everything rippled under my skin, but I didn’t want her asshole ex infringing on our time together. I tipped her chin up. She was at the edge of the tailgate. I couldn’t remember if she scooted that close or if I dragged her. My hands were gripping her thighs, but not hard enough to tug her toward me. Maybe. “We can get your money back. Thanks to Meg, I have connections. Her parents—”
“Are you going to tell them that the strip-teasing nanny you want to have a fling with got into a bad situation with a guy?”
My jaw locked up. I didn’t like hearing her downplay her accomplishments, but my pulse jumped at the thought of telling my in-laws about Tova. She shouldn’t be a secret, but I wasn’t ready to share her or open my desires up to scrutiny. “We can... It’s not...”
“It’s okay.” She stroked her hands up my chest to my face. “You aren’t ready to tell your in-laws you’re moving on, even if it’s not serious, and I’m not ready to air my dirty laundry to people I don’t know and who are much smarter than me. Having your wife’s parents in our business seems a little too much, too soon.”
“This is between us.” There was a lot more between us than raging hormones, but I wasn’t ready to evaluate the matter. “But I will help you if you want me to. I could make a few calls.”
“We’ll see. It’s only been a few weeks.”
Her noncommittal brush-off wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but I also understood she didn’t want to be indebted to me. We were each on our own journey, and our paths would only converge for another month and a half.
Suddenly, the time frame was miniscule. Just like this evening would be over and we’d be in the pickup and going back to the house, the weeks would fly by, and then Tova would be going her way and I’d be coming back here. Alone.
I cupped her cheek, rubbing my thumb along her jawline. “I know I said we should wait, but I haven’t showered, and you—”
“Like having you dirty and all to myself.” She pulled my head down, and my lips crashed on hers.
Again, she said exactly what I wanted to hear. With a groan, I pulled her closer to me. She wrapped her legs around me, and that erection I was trying to hold back was present and demanding. The sound of our breathing got lost in the symphony of the bugs and the crickets. I was attuned to her. Her needy little whimpers when I licked into her mouth and found her tongue were my guideposts.
She broke the kiss long enough to whisper, “What exactly are we going to do?”
“Everything, Tova. I want everything.” Raw admission. I couldn’t hide how much I wanted her in this moment. I’d be going back to pretending to be a guy who worked all day while a nanny cared for his kids instead of being a desire-filled man who often thought of burying himself between the legs of this woman.
“I don’t have...And you don’t have...”
