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Aggie’s gentle but firm words ran through my head. I was here now, not Meg. I had to make decisions about what was best for us. Including me. It was time to make up my mind again.
I was falling for Tova, but I was prepared to leave her behind. The question was becoming, was I prepared to stay and watch her go?
Was I brave enough to ask her to stay for me?
* * *
Tova
It was Sunday, and while I planned to spend the day with Cody and the kids, I was in the park to talk to my mom. I’d told her I was staying with Thelma for a few months, that things with me and Frederick didn’t work out. She didn’t pry if she suspected there was a lot more to the story. Today, I wasn’t on a swing since that’d be in the full sun. Instead, I took a seat at a picnic table under the shade of a giant tree after making sure there was no bird poop.
“After this, I’m going to meet Cody and the kids at the pool. It’s a perfect day for swimming.” Cody wasn’t working as much since I used my burlesque skills to remind him he was keeping himself deskbound too much. In actuality, I didn’t think he needed prodding. He seemed to want to spend more time with the kids. And with me.
Mom’s left eye crinkled at the corner. A hint of her former smile.
As I was talking, telling her about my day, a pressure built in my chest, a hot weight that grew heavier with each memory of the week I recounted. “I wish you could meet them, Mom. They’re awesome kids. Grayson is such a good dancer. I love his passion. I hope when he goes to Helena, his grandparents will listen to Cody and enroll him in lessons. But he’s even talking about trying football. He was so excited when I told him that a lot of athletes take ballet lessons.”
Mom dipped her head. The tablet she was talking on was propped so she had to look down, but I could see her face clearly enough. We’d started off using the keyboard for her communication, but she’d grown tired, and she was content to let me talk.
“Ivy’s a riot. She’s a princess, and she’s a warrior. She knows what she wants, and she doesn’t follow the crowd. I feel like she must be a miniature of her mom. Grayson’s sensitive, and I suspect he gets that from Cody. Cody is just so...” Charming. Sincere. Thoughtful. “Well, I’ll tell you all about him when I see you again.”
I’d probably talk her ear off for months about Cody. He bought food I liked. He helped prepare lunches and cook dinners. Some evenings, he would grill using the little charcoal grill that came with the house.
Shouts caught my attention. Grayson and Ivy were sprinting across the road with Cody hot on their heels in jeans and a loose gray Knight’s Arabians and Cattle Company shirt plastered against his wide chest.
“Guys, look both ways!” he called, frustrated. The street was quiet, and there were only two cars parked outside of the diner.
“We did!” Grayson waved wildly, and Ivy was prancing next to him.
I almost cut Mom off and hurriedly hung up, but I tightened my grip. I’d wanted her to meet them, but I wasn’t prepared for them to meet her. They didn’t know about her medical struggles or that she was in long-term care. My breathing shortened, and a trickle of sweat started at my hairline.
I talked about Mom to Cody, and opening up had been huge for me.
I drew in a slow breath. They were kids. They were good kids. They wouldn’t use Mom to get to me, and I was acting paranoid. I didn’t want to be that person, just like I was tired of compartmentalizing people in my life.
“Mom, uh, we have company.” I gave Cody a tentative smile, and he mouthed sorry. I lifted a shoulder. When the kids met her, they’d be one step further into my life. The Knights’ fingerprints would be all over my life.
I didn’t mind. As the kids crossed the last few yards between us, my excitement rose. Anxiety aside, I loved my mom. I loved Grayson and Ivy, and Mom would adore them. She used to love hearing stories about the kids I taught.
I gave Cody a reassuring smile, and his expression warmed.
“Are you talking to someone?” Grayson scooted next to me on the bench, heedless of bird droppings. This park had a lot of them. He leaned in to peer into the phone. Ivy crowded on the other side, standing behind my shoulder.
“Guys, this is my mom. Lana Evanson.”
“Hi, Lana Evanson,” the kids said in unison.
Mom nodded, and the left side of her mouth tipped up. The right hitched up a little. Her little wave was visible on screen.
“Mom had a stroke, and she’s working on her speech and movement, so she might not say much. She can type, but we’ve already been talking a lot. But trust me, she’s listening.”
The kids nodded and waved, not caring one bit. They had a rapt audience with Mom.
“Are you still in California?” Grayson asked. When Mom nodded, he continued, “Did Tova show you the park?”
“Have you met my daddy?” Ivy asked over her brother.
My gaze shot up to Cody. He’d stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans, his expression equal parts amused and uncomfortable. Morning scruff was still on his cheeks. What would his stubble feel like between my legs? Heat swamped me on this already hot day. Now wasn’t the time for those thoughts.
