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Her light laughter was a welcome change from her pensive silence.
I could spend a lifetime getting that sound out of her.
Would she let me try?
I snuck another glance at her, but she was gazing at the sun hovering above the horizon with a stunning display of purples, pinks, and oranges cutting through the wispy clouds in the sky.
“Beautiful sunset,” I murmured.
“Yeah,” she said softly. “Mom and I used to drive to the beach and watch the sunsets.”
“Thanks for letting me meet her.”
She hadn’t talked about the call beyond telling me her mom enjoyed chatting with the kids. I’d loved watching her relax and enjoy the conversation after we’d intruded.
I took my boot off the gas. The area I wanted was nearing. Today was the first day I’d spent my time in jeans and boots without working at the ranch.
I stopped off the road on the grassy approach with faded, tire-worn tracks. No fence blocked entry into the field, but posts were placed on either side of the approach, and metal fencing stretched out in each direction from them. This pasture had been used for haying for the last few years. Beyond us were forty acres, with cows in the distance to our right. That pasture was fenced off and part of the property. The peaks of Aggie’s house and shop were visible across from us.
My palms were growing sweaty against the steering wheel. “You know why I’m excited?”
She shook her head, her lower lip sucked in between her teeth.
“Because I’m building here.” I swept a hand toward the windshield, my heart pounding. I hadn’t been this nervous—ever—asking a girl out. But I also wasn’t asking her on a date.
Shock flared in her eyes. “What?”
“I’m buying this land. I’m building a house. The kids are staying, we’re keeping the cats, and tomorrow, I’ll tell them and my in-laws.” I blew out a hard breath. I said my plans out loud.
As soon as I dropped Weston off at the airport, my mind was made up. I’d called Lorenzo, and he verified what I had hoped. There were, indeed, loopholes.
Perhaps I should’ve talked to the kids first, but I knew their answer. I’d been seeing their anxiety for months, and I’d wanted to cement my plans before discussing the change with them. My communication with the land broker—Ansen’s brother—had been over email, and I’d asked for discretion until I could tell everyone myself.
Tova was first on my list. Then the kids. And my in-laws. I’d put no more thought into telling Curtis and Lauri than knowing I had to do it. They could be a force when they disagreed with someone, and they might argue against the kids staying.
It was an argument I’d win, but I wasn’t looking forward to it.
“That’s great.” She grabbed my hand, her eyes swimming with emotions I couldn’t identify. “I’m really glad you decided to move. I think Crocus Valley will be good for the kids.”
This was it. My pulse hammered between my ears. I wasn’t making a deal, I was trying to build a future with the woman I was falling hard for. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Would you consider staying with us? Being with me?”
The strength of her grip faltered until her hand went limp. “Cody Knight, are you asking me to go steady?” Her gaze wavered despite the teasing purr she’d used when she gave me the private dance.
“Yes,” came out of my mouth when I wished it was her I was hearing it from.
She opened her mouth, then snapped it shut and directed her gaze out the windshield. “This place is heaven, but it isn’t mine. Crocus Valley isn’t my home. I don’t have anything, Cody.”
“You’d have us.” Fuck, that sounded lame. I’d give her whatever she needed, but wasn’t that the problem? Giving her everything made her feel controlled. Helpless.
She shook her head and blinked back a rush of tears. “And what? You’d pay me to be your nanny while we dated?” She swiped at her eyes. “Don’t you see what that’d make me? It’s just like Frederick, only I’d be willing.”
My defensiveness rose. “Are you saying I’m like him?”
“No.” She jerked, removing her hand from mine. “But you want me to stay, and you’re going to offer to let me live with you and the kids. You’re going to insist on continuing to pay me, then I’ll officially be the nanny you’re fucking.” A sad, frustrated sound left her, and I wasn’t sure if it was aimed at me or herself. “I want more than that. I need more than that. It’s one thing to fall for you when I fought it, but after next week, it’d be an arrangement. I love your kids, Cody, but I can’t. I have to be able to take care of myself. I have family too.”
When she said it like that, I sounded like a fucking douche and not a guy who was desperate to keep being around her. “Then don’t work for me. But stay in Crocus Valley. Let’s see where this goes. You have people here who’ll help you figure things out.”
Anguish filled her eyes. “I thought you understood that I can’t. Twenty dollars in tips a day at the diner isn’t going to pay for Mom’s care. It isn’t going to fly me to California to visit her. I can’t just leave her there.”
