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“Yes! He has time off for my wedding to help get everything organized. He has already volunteered to come and get you and take care of you until you’re here, safe and sound.”
I hesitated. Jacob… there wasn’t anyone more trustworthy than him, but it still meant leaving my home and there was somuch fear of what that meant. Those nasty fire demons would come and burn up everything. Even now I could see the flames laughing at me. My heart rate picked up.
“I’m really happy for you, Harmony, truly, but I’m not sure if I can do this.”
“Please, V. I know it feels like a lot and I understand. I never realized all the things hidden deep inside me until I met Gray. I didn’t know I was okay until I met Gray and made friends here at Rawhide.
“Believe me, there has been enough of a change in me to know that you would thrive here. With all my heart, I know your Daddy is here and waiting to meet you and when you two finally do meet, your life will change for the better, I promise.”
I’d been fingering a pulled thread on the duvet cover on my bed when I looked up and caught myself in the mirror. Studying myself from the outside, you’d never know I had issues. I’d developed but hadn’t grown, so other than being puny, I appeared normal. Maybe, just maybe, Harmony was right. Maybe I could do this and finally turn my life around.
“Okay, I’ll do it. But if I ruin your wedding, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Light laughter echoed through the phone. “Okay but be careful. I’d forgive you, but I’m not so sure about my Daddy as he can be less forgiving.”
Why did that both horrify me and excite me all at the same time? “H, what are the Daddies like at Rawhide?”
For the next half an hour, she shared stories with me about people I’d never met but suddenly wanted to. She shared about the antics of the Littles living on the ranch and how their Daddies dealt with unacceptable behavior. By the time we hung up the phone, I was in need of a different type of anti-anxiety therapy and pulled B.O.B. out of the bedside table, flipping on my favorite porn.
It was always spanking porn and always naughty schoolgirls or domestic discipline videos. Watching men chastise errant brats got me so completely riled up. I’d cheer for him when the woman over his lap tried to hide her bottom from his punishing hand or implement, and inevitably failed.
The more the women kicked and protested, the more I cheered for the Dom controlling the spanking. When she finally gave in, I would cheer for her and wished it was me facing a fresh perspective post discipline. I wanted to know what it felt like to not have control and not be able to escape my fate and be happy about it afterwards. Maybe if I acted bratty like some Littles at the Ranch, a Daddy would see how much I needed him and come and give me my fantasy and, if I was super lucky, keep me for his own.
I watched as the woman squirmed when the man’s large hand reddened her bottom. He kept her trapped over his muscular thighs… oh dear, that was so hot to see her jiggling bottom change from a pretty pink shade to red. “Yasss! Get her,”I cheered inwardly, as the woman in the video cried and kicked her legs.
The vibrator nestled against my hardened nub sent a tingling sensation through my lower belly and along my spine. A bolt of heat spread like a wildfire out of control and my body arched off the bed, freezing in a kind of pleasurable rigor mortis state.
My lips parted, opening wide, as a silent cry from the intense pleasure rolled through me. I hung in the space between heaven and earth until the orgasm ran its course and I crashed.
I was so relaxed I could have fallen asleep, but the urgent need to pee forced me to my feet. I stumbled to the bathroom on rubbery legs with my toy in hand. After I wiped and flushed. I caught myself in the mirror and liked what I saw—blushing skin like the women in the video with hooded eyes from the pleasure I’d experienced. Looking different after a session withmy vibrator was new for me. Just being this much closer to potentially finding my one had pushed my release to a new level. Quickly cleaning the toy, I put it away and headed for the shower.
Once under the steaming water, my eyes again captured my reflection in the mirror opposite me. I ran my gaze slowly over my body with a critical eye. What would a man looking at me naked see? Curves, but not in the same way as Harmony or the other girls who had once comprised our friend group.
My build was more like a pear, with wide hips and a flat stomach. I turned around and looked over my shoulder. I had a nicely rounded ass that jiggled, and two dimples just above the top curve of my bottom.
Turning back to examine my front once more, I studied my breasts which were on the smaller side with peach-colored nipples that were pebbled even under the spray of hot water. They were always like that, as if they were a mere fraction of an inch away from being touched by strong, knowing hands.
I looked young for my age, especially with my large mop of hair. When the agoraphobia had increased and I’d stopped going out, I also stopped having services like mani/pedis and monthly trips to the hairdresser and had let my hair grow out.
With the mass of wild blonde curls, I resembled an 80s woman. All I was missing was the fuchsia-pink body suit and headband. That, or I could have easily doubled as the lead singer from Poison.
Now that my parts resembled a woman’s and not a little girl, I was hopeful that men, especially Daddies, would find me attractive. In the videos I watched, they zeroed in on the female’s bottom, and I had to admit that my ass was my best feature.
My mind wandered to Jacob. What would he think of the adult me? I had a sudden image of our time in the closet, with him firmly gripping my butt cheeks while I clung to him, afraidof the dark. I pouted my lips in the mirror. He probably wouldn’t even notice. I was just V, his little cousin’s bestie, and I don’t think he ever saw me or would ever see me as anything other than that.
I slipped into a fantasy about my first kiss, imagining a tall blond cowboy with hard abs and powerful hands. He’d tip my chin and claim my lips with his. I realized, of course, that the tall blond Montana man’s body resembled Jacob’s, while the face remained invisible beneath the hat.
As Jacob starred in my imaginary sex scenes, this was no surprise, and a part of me hoped my first kiss would be with him. Ah hell, I replaced the faceless stranger with Jacob’s serious mien and imagined his breath tickling my ear as teeth pulled on my tender earlobe.
He’d kiss it better and then his mouth would seek mine, clamping down, taking, and owning my mouth. The imaginary bubble popped and instead, I saw Jacob with an amused expression. The one he used whenever I found him watching me. It was what I called the indulgent parent look. Not that I ever had those, but I’d seen normal families, in which parents watched their children play and wore the same expression Jacob usually had, especially when he’d caught me doing childish things at those big society parties. That always stung because I wished him to look at me with heated passion.
It didn’t really matter how Jacob looked at me back then, or how he would when he came to fetch me because it was like Harmony had said—there were lots of Daddies at the Ranch. Surely, I was right for one of them? For the first time in forever, I was excited, and it was easy to ignore the frantic voice deep within, trying to get my attention.
Chapter 2
Jacob
“That’sthe last of them, sir,” I reported to Derek as the last car passed through the gates to the kingdom. I call it the kingdom because once you passed through the gates of Rawhide, you were in a whole other world.
