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“I know, but to be honest, I wasn’t sure the two of you getting back together was a good idea. Dan from the club told me he’d been here and seen River. He wasn’t sure if he should tell you either.”
What the hell?
“Did he talk to her?” Had she said something to make my friends keep her secret? They’d both known I was looking for her.
“No. He recognized her as he was leaving and said she looked happy.” Andy ran his hand through his hair and let out a frustrated sigh. “If I’d told you I knew where she might be, you would have either wanted answers I didn’t have or driven off half-cocked. I figured this way it was up to fate if you saw her again.” He shrugged.
He might have had a point, but that didn’t mean I had to like it. One thing he’d said stuck in my mind. “Why didn’t you think us getting back together was a good idea?”
Andy stopped and studied me for a minute before answering. “You were an asshole for months after the two of you broke up. Not that you ever said much but what little you said left us all with the impression she had been nagging you and had thrown a fit about the fact you had other priorities in your life other than her.”
“I did?” Her leaving had hurt so much that I hadn’t wanted to talk about it. Had I only shared the worst of my thoughts with my friends?
“Yes, and it didn’t sound like the River we’d known. You stopped going to the club very often so we assumed things had gone south in private. If I’m going to be honest, with the life you lead, I figured you’d realized that being a 24/7 Master wasn’t for you and she wasn’t okay with that.”
Guilt sat like a rock in my stomach. If my friends had thought River was better off without me, I’d really fucked up. I’d never failed at anything in my life and her running away had left me feeling like an idiot who couldn’t even see that his woman was about to leave him. I’d been embarrassed to admit I hadn’t noticed things hadn’t been perfect, so it had been easy to focus on what she’d done wrong.
“So you think I’m making a mistake trying to get back together with her?” I respected my friend’s opinion, not that I would automatically agree with him, but it never hurt to have an outside perspective.
“You’re my friend, Cade. I want you to be happy. River was always so shy but I liked her too and think she deserves to be happy. I think the most important question is do you think you can reprioritize your life to give her the focus she needs? Because if you can’t, neither of you will be happy.”
“You think I need to quit my job to be a good Master to River?”
Andy rolled his eyes and gave me a not so gentle punch to the shoulder. “Reprioritizing is not quitting. For fuck’s sake, Cade, why does everything have to be extremes with you? Not being a workaholic isn’t the same thing as being jobless.”
“Fine, I see your point.” Though I wasn’t sure I knew how to not give a hundred percent to my job.
“How is it going so far?” Andy must have thought a slight change in topic was in order. “I saw you with her at lunch. Things looked good if more restrained than I’m used to seeing between the two of you.”
He knew me too well. “Restrained is a good word. I don’t want to fuck this up but at the same time I feel like I have a straitjacket on, and that was never my kink.” I tried to tease but the joke fell flat.
“Is that what she wants? Has she said she needs you to back off?”
“No. In fact, she asked for a blank slate. Said I wasn’t acting like myself, but acting like myself is what drove her away.” It was frustrating. I rarely second guessed myself but screwing up things with River had me acting like a teenager with his first crush.
“Pretty sure from what little you told me it wasn’t acting like yourself that was the problem. It was losing yourself in work and forgetting she needed you too.”
“Fine. If you are so wise, how do I clear the slate and start over?”
“How did you get her to agree to be yours the first time? You never told me.”
The memory of the first time I’d talked to River always brought a smile to my face. She’d been coming to the club regularly for months dressed in conservative fifties-style dresses. But she’d never scened with anyone and been so painfully shy that most people gave her space.
“It was after I’d done a scene with Joshua and his wife.”
The couple was into roleplaying cuckolding and liked to bring in a third occasionally. Before River, I’d been more than happy to participate. That particular night, we’d pretended he’d found out she was having an affair and both of us punished her before taking her together while she was bound in a sex swing.
“The scene was over and he’d taken Terri over to the aftercare area. River was wearing a gorgeous black and gray pinafore dress. I was still naked and sweaty from the scene, but she knelt at my feet and offered me a bottle of water. Didn’t say anything, just quietly held up the bottle.”
The hunger and need in her eyes had been a thrill. Like she was starving for something she thought only I could give her. Even though I’d just come, the sight of her at my feet had made my cock swell.
Andy chuckled. “She really is a lesson in ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’. I remember everyone thought you’d corrupted the sweet service sub the first time you walked her around the club on a leash wearing nothing but a collar.”
If I hadn’t been riding the high of the scene and she hadn’t had the courage to approach me, I’d never have guessed what my beautiful girl wanted. I wasn’t into harsh humiliation or degradation but there was just something about pushing a woman until she gave in to her inner slut that did it for me.
I’d thanked her for the drink, and as I stroked myself slowly, asked her if she’d enjoyed the scene. The way she licked her lips, her eyes on my dick as she nodded had been sexy as hell.
When I asked her if she wanted to be my slut, I’d honestly thought she’d decline. Instead she’d stripped and begged me to show her off.
