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I brush the hair out of my face and put my car in reverse.
***
It’swith some trepidation that I knock on the door of the house I grew up in. I don’t fully know what I’m expecting. But ever since Alessandro and I got back from the island, a part of me has felt lost.
“Ava,” says my mother, her eyes widening as she opens the door. “Come here.”
She pulls me into a deep hug.
“Hey, mom.”
She breaks the embrace. “Well, well, come on in. I’ll make tea.”
I follow her, a wave of nostalgia hitting me as I walk through the house. It looks just like it did before.
It still feels like home.
“You never responded to my text messages,” she chides me, putting the kettle on.
Yup. Just like before.
“I had you and dad blocked,” I admit.
“Oh.” My mom looks hurt as she fiddles with the kettle, not looking at me. “I guess I can understand. With everything that happened.”
We’re silent as the water boils. Finally, she pours two mugs and we move to the dining room table.
“You know that your father is in jail?”
“Yeah. I know.”
“Have you been to visit him?”
I shake my head.
“You should, you know.”
“You even think he would want to see me?”
She shrugs, a hint of annoyance in her expression. “Probably not, after the way you treated him.”
“So why did you just tell me to visit?”
“It’s what a good daughter would do.”
I put my mug down a little too hard. “Well, sorry. I’m done being the good daughter.”
“Yes, I think that’s very clear.”
Anger spills out of me. Does she always have to have this smug, perfect answer for everything? “Mom, what the hell was I supposed to do? First you forced me to marry this guy I didn’t want to be with, then you canceled my college education and ruined my life plans, and then you told me that actually,psych!Now I’m not marrying him! Did you ever consider that maybe, justmaybe, I wanted to make some decisions about my own future, rather than riding this fucking bullshit rollercoaster of Mafia politics?”
My mother looks slightly cowed, and she doesn’t make eye contact. “I am sorry about the whiplash. Things got… sticky at the end.”
My jaw drops. “Things gotsticky?You made a stupid decision to have me marry him, and then you made a stupid decision to kill him instead. That’s not sticky, that’s psychopathic. You’re supposed to protect your family, not use them as pawns!”
Instantly, her expression changes back to anger. “Don’t you dare talk about things you don’t understand. You have no idea how hard I’ve worked to protect our family. And we always planned for you to marry Alessandro.”
“Well, you got what you wanted,” I tell her bitterly. “I’m married to him. Only he’s boss of the family now, not dad. Which means you don’t get a say in my future anymore.”
