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"Have you spoken to Kris?" I asked.
Ashley shook her head. "No. Have you?"
I couldn't quite work out the expression on her face. Sad, with a hint of wistfulness, or something.
"No," I said. "I'm still at the 'wanting to punch him in the face,' phase. I figure I should wait until that passes." I hesitated for a moment before I added, "You really miss him, don't you?"
Her tongue darted over her lips. I couldn't help noticing. She took a sip of wine. Okay, more like a gulp. I wasn't judging. The whole situation sucked.
"I miss him, but I still want to burn his comics," she said eventually. "It's hard to be with someone for two years, then bang, they're gone from your life. I didn't even get the closure of flushing him down the toilet."
I'd taken a sip of beer. Now I almost spat it out. I managed to keep my mouth closed, but some of my drink went down the wrong hole. I covered my mouth with my fist and coughed while my face heated.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—" She started to stand and move around the table toward me, but I waved her back down.
"I'm fine," I said when I caught my breath. "I just pictured you trying to stuff him in, head first."
She sat back down and smiled wanly. "I suppose it is a bit funny. Although, he'd block up the pipes with his big head."
I chuckled. "Shame to ruin perfectly good plumbing." I watched her eyes. She laughed, but they looked as sad as ever. Kris might as well have torn out her heart and flushed it down the toilet.
"Yeah." She took another sip or two of wine. "You miss Brandi too?"
Right to the point, hmmm? I guessed I was that direct with her too. That might be what both of us needed right now. Blunt honesty.
"I feel like I shouldn't, but I do. We had some good times together. Lots of laughs and, believe it or not, some deep conversations about life and stuff. She came from a family who had nothing. She was determined to pull herself up out of that."
I wasn't dumb enough to think she hadn't tried to use me for that in the beginning, but I thought it went beyond her ambition. Iwantedto think it did. I would have given her the world, if only she wanted me and not my money or the prestige that came with my job.
"That's admirable," Ashley said. "I had no idea. I mean, I wasn't paying that much attention to her, to be honest. I'm sure she's…lovely."
"I can understand why you might not think so," I said evenly. Ashley had no reason to cut Brandi any slack. "She did the wrong thing. A shitty thing. She hurt you. I'm sure she's sorry for doing it. Kris too." Okay, I was sure Kris was. Brandi… It seemed the thing to say anyway, whether it was true or not.
Ashley's mouth worked, but no words came out for a minute or two. Eventually, she said, "I suppose it could have been a spur of the moment thing. A one-time, caught up in it, didn't stop to think thing. I'm sure if they'd thought about us for a moment, they wouldn't have done it."
She didn't seem certain, but I saw in her eyes that she wanted to believe it too. Love does that, I supposed. It makes people forgive the worst things, because we want to be with someone so badly.
"Can I buy you another drink?" I offered.
She handed me her empty glass. "Sure."
I took both glasses to the bar and slid them over to Hallie, the woman who worked the bar.
"I like to see someone with good manners," she remarked as she took the glasses and placed them in the open glass washer. "It's so rare these days."
"We have to keep you on side." I admit to finding her a bit intimidating. She had so many piercings I wasn't sure if she'd get through an airport scanner in any kind of hurry. Then there were the tattoos.
I had butt load of them myself. A full sleeve on my left arm. A handful, including the Rapids’ logo, a Rapid with a sword, on my back. A few on my chest. I still had nothing on Hallie's. Except her face and hands, she seemed covered in them, from neck to wrists. With a collared shirt and long sleeves, no one would know she had any, but in her short sleeves and scoop neck, they were visible and plentiful.
If I didn't know Hallie was one of the gentlest people around, I might think she was rough and tough. From what she said, she left that to her boyfriend, who was approximately the size of an aircraft carrier.
"Damn right you do," Hallie said with a satisfied nod. "If you want more beer anyway."
"As it happens, that's exactly what I want," I said. "And another glass of wine, please."
"What happened to that other girl?" Hallie grabbed a clean beer glass and held it under the tap. "What was her name?"
"Brandi. We're… Having a break." I shrugged with one shoulder and pretended not to care.
