AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Chase.” Mackenzie’s chilly hand on my face brings me back to the present. Her amber eyes are full of concern as she regards me. “I’m sorry. That had to be hard.”
I hang my head, unable to look at her. “I was trying to fulfill the role of two absent parents, one not by choice.” I ache from missing my mom. She was such a positive, caring person. I aspire to be just like her.
Drawing in a breath, I prepare to reveal my biggest secret to Mackenzie, hoping it doesn’t change how she sees me. “I was all Elsie had. She’d given up ballet, lost all her friends, and was struggling in school. I was terrified social services would end up intervening and separating us, so I coached her on what to say if anyone, particularly her teachers or anyone else in authority, asked questions. I swear, I only wanted what was best for her.”
Mackenzie stares at me like she knows something bad is coming. I can feel it in the way her body grows rigid against mine.
“Everything that happened to her was my fault, Kenz. I failed Elsie… Just like I failed you.”
Mackenzie’s hands grip my face, turning it to hers. “No, Chase. You’re not to blame for what Orpheus and the cult did to me. And though I don’t know what happened to your sister—yet—I know you aren’t to blame.” Pressing her forehead to mine, intensity blazes from her eyes as they bore into mine. “Don’t ever speak those words again. You’renotresponsible.”
A part of me knows that yet I can’t shake the feeling of failure.
“What happened to Elsie?”
I hesitate, afraid she’ll change her mind once she hears what happened.
“Please, Chase. Trust me.” Her eyes and touch implore me to trust her.
“Okay.” I pull back slightly, my gaze on hers. But I’m no longer in the attic as I travel back in time, the memories assaulting me.
Every day, Elsie and I walked past Matt and Stacey Hammond’s house. They were always friendly, waving at us whenever they were outside.
I was resistant to accepting any handouts, even though we barely had anything. I had my pride and didn’t want anyone to know how bad things were.
I’d barely see my father most days, but I heard the stories of the robberies that started close to home and then expanded to local small businesses. Because I’d hear him leaving at night, I had a pretty good idea who the culprit was. But I was terrified to turn him in, and risk Elsie and I being separated. She was the only person I had left in the world who cared about me, and I couldn’t bear the thought of losing her.
Over time, Matt and Stacey wore me down. They were always friendly and made a point of talking to us. First, they gave us treats from Stacey’s bakery, claiming she didn’t want them to go to waste. Or that she needed another opinion about a new dessert she wanted to sell.
Next, they gave us groceries and leftovers. I saw the sympathy in their eyes as they examined our too skinny bodies. They felt pity for us. Although I hated it, Elsie’s growling stomach made me keep my mouth shut as I accepted more and more from them.
Matt was astute enough to know accepting handouts bothered the hell out of me. One day, while I was walking home in the rain, he stopped me. Elsie was sick and stayed home from school, so I was anxious to get home.
Matt refused to leave me alone until I got inside his warm car. As he drove me home, my stomach churned from anxiety. I was embarrassed and fearful of his reaction if he saw where we lived. I lied and made him drop me off six houses away.
I think he knew I was lying, but Matt didn’t call me out on it. Instead, he told me he could use some help with yard work. He needed help on the weekends because his business kept him too busy to do much around the house during the week. That was perfect for my schedule.
When he told me what he’d pay me, my mouth hit the floor. At fifteen, I knew I needed to find a job, but my appearance left little to be desired. What he offered seemed like a dream—one I couldn’t pass up.
Every weekend, I went to work for Matt while Elsie stayed home. I worried about her constantly. Sometimes my dad was there when I left, and other times, he wasn’t.
Over time, I noticed that Elsie became more withdrawn. I figured she was resentful of me leaving our depressing house. I made sure I spent time with her after work and took her for an occasional dish of ice cream with the money I made.
That fateful Saturday started off like any other day I’d worked for Matt. It was a bright and sunny morning when I jogged to Matt’s house to begin working. I finished at 5 o’clock, then ran to the store for groceries.
My steps were heavy as I trudged home with my bags, wishing my mom was still alive. I missed the small ranch house we lived in before the bank foreclosed on it, forcing my dad to move us to the dilapidated, mouse-infested mobile home.
Forcing a smile on my face, I called my sister’s name as I set my bags on the small table that had seen better days. A whimper hit my ears, filling me with concern. I ran to my sister’s small bedroom, where she was curled up in a ball on the bed, sobbing. Her clothing had been torn, leaving her half-naked. Bruises covered her frail body.
I grabbed the blanket that was lying on the floor and covered her. I begged her to tell me what happened. Once my sister composed herself, she told me my father raped her—and it wasn’t the first time.
Bile rose in my throat as I sat there, feeling like a damn failure for being unable to protect my thirteen-year-old sister. My sister’s odd behavior suddenly made sense. The listless expression in her eyes. Barely eating. The frequent nightmares. The sudden, sharp drop in her grades at school.
Explosive rage lay dormant inside me until the second our father walked through the door. Then it exploded.
I stood in the living room, screaming obscenities at him, informing the sick bastard I was going to the cops, and would reveal everything—the abuse, the rape, and the robberies he committed.
That was the first time I’d been beaten unconscious and woken up in the hospital. Elsie was sobbing in a chair at my bedside, holding my hand when I woke. She told me that after my dad stormed off, she ran to the neighbor’s house to get help. He carried me to his vehicle and brought me in. Elsie covered for our father, telling the neighbor and hospital personnel that I’d been in a fight with a bully from school, fearing if she told them the truth, we’d be separated.
