AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Lorenzo, why are you saying this stuff?” I ask again, my voice louder now.
He takes a deep, trembling breath. His eyes are bloodshot, and he’s inches away from me. Tears fall down his cheek.
“Lorenzo, please!” I shout, shaking slightly.
“I have cancer, Val.”
Chapter 79 – Sei
Val
The world around me crumbles. Time freezes when those words leave his mouth. My heart stops, the blood draining from me. My body goes completely cold, I can’t feel it. I can’t feel anything. Only a ringing in my ears. For a second, I think I’m falling. Falling nowhere. In blackness. I’m in shock, not moving a single muscle.
“What . . .?”
Chapter 80 – Cinque
Val
“What . . .?” I stand there, motionless, waiting for an explanation. For some type of assurance that this is a joke. It’s a joke. It’s a prank. I’m dreaming. I don’t know what it is, but it’s not real. It can’t be real.
“I was diagnosed a year ago, and four months ago, they said I have no chance of survival.” He sniffs.
No. No, no, no.
“No. You’re lying. This is a prank. Ha, you did it, you scared me, you can drop the act now. Please, Lorenzo, it’s not funny,” I cry, tears filling my eyes. My throat starts to close down and my body is filled with fear. Not a word comes out of his mouth, only tears in his eyes.
My eyes widen, in horror. His silence sends a shock through my chest. No. No, this is a lie. This is a dream. This has to be a dream. I open my mouth, but it’s clogged. My knees go numb, just as my whole body does. I can’t feel anything. Nothing feelsreal. It can’t be. I take a step toward him, closer to him. I can see the sadness in his eyes.
“No, this can’t be happening. Please. Please, tell me this is a lie. Please, Lorenzo,” I beg through the tears. He raises a hand to my face, stroking the side of my hair. No. Something’s wrong. This can’t be right. Itcan’tbe. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you—” I raise my palm to my mouth, a pain in my throat.
He slides his hand down from my neck. “I couldn’t. I couldn’t tell you, Val. I’m so sorry.” His voice cracks. He isn’t lying. He’s telling the truth. He’s dying. He’s leaving. My eyesight gets blurry, and I feel myself break down. Sobbing.
He steps closer and wraps his hand around me tightly.
“No, you can’t leave me. Not now. I need you.” I weep, my voice quavering. The palm of my hand is still covering my mouth. Tears run down my cheeks, and I sob into his shirt.
“Vi, please. It’s going to be okay,” he whispers, pain in his voice. His hands stroke my hair slowly, trying to soothe me. But nothing does. Nothing gets better. It feels like nothing ever will. I can’t focus. I feel everywhere and nowhere. I feel broken into so many bits. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he apologizes.
It feels like a stake is going through my heart. So many stakes, all thrown at once, and never stopping. It’s hard to breath. I can’t breathe. I dig my face into his shirt, trying to silence my cries. But it doesn’t make me feel better, only worse. My eyes feel like they’re being forced out of my head. They’re burning, but my whole body is cold. He’s leaving. He’s leaving me and he’s never coming back. He’s leaving me all alone, and I’m never going to see him again. Never going to talk to him again. Never going to hug him.
The thoughts make it harder. I want to hold him; I don’t want to let him go. I don’t want him to leave me. I can’t. I can’t do this. I can’t go on without him. I need him. He can’t leave me, but he is. Forever.
And I can do nothing about it but cry.
Lorenzo
Five days. Five days left before we’re back in Los Angeles, and less than six before I’m gone. Before I’m back in Portland, until I’m gone. Before it’s my end. I don’t know when it’ll be, I guess you can’t put a specific timeline on when death knocks on your door. I just know that it can be any time soon. I just hope it isn’t before I go back. My mom is counting on it.
My heart still hurts from yesterday. It hurt telling Val the truth, but her reaction hurt even more. Her crying, the expression on her face. Her words. It hurt more than it ever has, more than when the doctors told me there was nothing they could do. More than knowing that my life was over. Seeing her cry devastated me. It killed her just as much as it is killing me.
This is only part of it, though. I still have to say goodbye. I still have to stare at her as she leaves for the last time. My life, gone with her. The very reason I came here, that I held on to. That I tried my best to show no pain or give any indication I was ill throughout the trip, so she could be happy. My happiness, walking away from me, leaving me with nothing. It’ll kill me, even more than my death will. Yet it keeps getting closer and closer. It keeps making my heart feel heavier and heavier. It’s going to happen, whether I like it or not. But I’m not ready.
Elias comes to sit next to me on my bed. He’s silent for a moment. I still feel like shit. I don’t know what was going on inmy head anymore, I had no excuse to just blame him. Even if he is Roland’s son, even if he does like Val. I should’ve made sure I was right instead of blaming him for something he didn’t do.
“Hey, are you doing okay?” he asks. I’m still looking down at my lap when I nod my head. Even though I’m not at all okay, I don’t need to worry anyone. It’s not like anyone can change my diagnosis. I just have to be okay now, and accept it. “Did you tell her?” he asks, sending cold shivers through my body.
I nod my head again.
