Page 40 of Resisting Desire


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“I don’t need someone to take care of me. That’s not the same, and you know it. Being with you means I have to put a hold on my dreamsfor the future. I don’t know if Trent is my answer, but you’ve made it clear that you aren’t.”

Ethan looks stunned. Maybe I’ve finally gotten through to him. I said enough, but not everything.

Staying here, living with him is too dangerous, even if it’s temporary. I can’t risk falling for him again and having him break my heart. I’m not made for casual affairs. I thought I could do it with him the first time, and I was wrong.

“You’re probably right,” he starts slowly, uncertainly. “I don’t know if I’m cut out for a serious relationship. I just know I care about you and the baby and enjoy having you around.”

“We enjoy being with you, too. But there needs to be some boundaries, though. I’m going to date other people. You’re going to date other people. We have to agree that we won’t get upset at each other, or this won’t work.”

Ethan takes a second to think about what I said. “I hear what you’re saying. We’re both adults, and I realize we’re both going to date other people. It’s just that I’m having a hard time wrapping my brain around you dating Trent. Does it have to be him?”

“Maybe it’ll be Trent, maybe it’ll be someone else. Right now, let’s just focus on Matthew and try to find out who is leaving the notes. We have enough to deal with without worrying about who’s dating who. Okay?”

“Fine, but we’ll have to talk about this sooner or later,” Ethan says grudgingly.

“Later works for me.”

Chapter 11

Ethan

Date other people? That’s supposed to be my line.

I’m going to show Liz she doesn’t need Trent. I still don’t understand what she sees in that guy anyway. He’s a dirtbag, and he doesn’t treat her right. For whatever reason, she’s blind to his faults.

At least she doesn’t love him. When she admitted that yesterday, I felt such relief. If she cared about and loved him, I’d be in trouble. Knowing she doesn’t have feelings for him makes things so much easier.

I just need to somehow get him out of the picture.

And I need to up my game with Liz. I need to show her we can be happy just as we are.

To do that, I need to get my ass out of bed. If I can get to Matthew before he wakes up, maybe Liz can sleep in. It only takes me a few seconds to throw on a t-shirt and shorts.

But I’m already too late.

As I walk into the living room, I see Liz is already there with Matthew. She is rocking him and talking to him. His sweet little face is just looking up at her in adoration.

I just stand there and watch them for a minute, taking in a sight I never thought I’d see. I never thought I’d have kids. I didn’t think I wanted them after what happened in my last relationship. It didn’t take long for this little human to make me change my mind. I can finally admit that I can’t fathom him not in my life.

When Liz notices me standing there, she smiles at me.

“Do you want to hold him?”

I take Matthew into my arms just as his little eyes start to close. “I think he finds me boring,” I joke.

“No, he’s just exhausted. He’s been up for hours.”

Guilt immediately hits me as I notice the dark shadows below Liz’s eyes. I was sleeping like a baby while she was dealing with a baby that wouldn’t sleep. “Then you must be exhausted, too. I’m sure you aren’t going to like what I say next, but hear me out. I think we should interview nannies. I contacted an agency, and they are going to send us some candidates.”

Liz narrows her eyes. “I don’t want a nanny. I am capable of caring for Matthew.”

“Of course you are. But what about when you go back to work? I know that you reserved a spot in daycare. Wouldn’t it be so much easier if you had a nanny?”

“A nanny is way too expensive,” she huffs.

“Seriously, Liz. Do you think I’m going to let you pay for childcare?”

“I’d prefer if we’d work out an arrangement where you pay a certain amount each month for child support. Just enough to cover some necessities for Matthew. A personal nanny is not a necessity.”

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