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“Thank you, Liz. I’d love your help,” Blair says in relief.
I want so badly to slip off my shoes and walk barefoot across the floor, but, of course, I won’t. That’s just not the type of thing a person should do at work. I don’t know if pregnancy has made my feet bigger or sweatier or what, but these shoes are not fitting like they did just last week. It’s probably my big sausage toes. I swear they’ve grown to five times their normal width in this heat.
As I get closer to the coffee bar, I notice the missing manila file folder sitting next to the empty pot from yesterday. Of course, no fresh coffee.
But at least I found the missing documents for Blair.
I hold them up to Blair just as she starts going through her garbage can. For the love of . . . I don’t know what I’m going to do with this girl.
“Blair, here are the documents. I’ll walk them over to Jake myself.”
I can see the relief on her face as she realizes she’ll survive another day at the office. And I’m sure she’s happy she doesn’t have to wander into the lion’s den. Jake can’t stand incompetence, and I’m sure he’s not thrilled about waiting for these papers.
As I make my way to Jake’s office, I wince at the pain from my pinched toes. The throbbing is a reminder that I have just eight weeks until this baby is born. If I think about it too much, I start to panic. Lately, I’ve felt on the edge of a nervous breakdown. The reality of my situation frequently smacks me in the face. I’m a single woman with no support system or family. Though I have a decent amount of money saved, a baby will suck up a good part of that. Then, there is childcare after the baby is born.
I’m truly on my own, and it’s scary.
The little voice in my head reminds me that I could always ask for child support from the father, but I push that thought away. I don’t need him.
Worrying about any of it won’t do any good, I remind myself. I have time, I have a dependable job, and I have friends who are willing to help.
Everything will be okay.
When I reach Jake’s office, I tap on the door and wait for him to tell me to enter. These days, I never dare to walk in without knocking. Ever since he and Lana started dating, you never know what you might see when you open the door. And now that they are officially engaged? They can barely keep their hands off each other.
I hear Jake tell me to enter from the other side of the door. When I go in, I look around at the familiar surroundings and feel a tiny bit of regret. It wasn’t that long ago that I worked directly for Jake as his executive assistant. We spent many hours in this office together, sitting at his large, dark wooden desk as we worked on projects. I miss having that type of comradeship in my new role. It can be lonely sometimes.
“Hey, Jake. I have those documents you were asking for,” I tell him as I walk to his desk. He appears to be in the middle of reading something on his computer and barely realizes that I’ve walked in.
“Great, appreciate it. I’m glad you came in. I have something for you.” He reluctantly pulls his eyes away from his screen and takes out an envelope. “Lana and I are throwing an engagement party. She wanted me to give you the invite. I think she’s secretly hoping you might help her with some of the arrangements, too, though she won’t dare ask.”
“Oh, I’d love to help her out!” I don’t want to admit it out loud, but I could use the distraction of planning a party to get my mind off the pregnancy and impending birth.
“Fantastic. You might want to call her with the offer. I don’t want her to think I’m interfering,” he says with a half smile.
“You’re lucky we’re friends and that I put up with your shenanigans,” I tell him jokingly.
“Ain’t that the truth.”
I grin at him and heave my uncomfortable, bulky self into the chair across from him. “It just so happens that Lana is going to meet with me tomorrow after work. We’re going baby shopping. She said it’s stressing her out that I haven’t bought anything yet.”
Truthfully, I hadn’t bought anything yet because it just made it all seem too real. I’m not ready to face it all just yet.
Jake grimaces. “That sounds like a fun shopping trip,” he says. I detect the faint sarcasm in his voice. “Just don’t let her get any ideas about babies and such, okay? She can love on yours for now. We aren’t quite ready for that.”
“I’m not exactly ready either,” I sigh in resignation.
Jake’s eyes widen in realization. I know he didn’t mean anything, but his words eat at me. If he and Lana couldn’t handle a baby together, how can I possibly raise one alone?
Jake stands up and walks around his desk. “Of course you’re ready. I’ve never met anyone stronger or better suited to motherhood than you. Your baby will be the luckiest, most spoiled baby ever. And Lana will be happy to help with all the spoiling that baby needs, I’m sure.”
“I appreciate that, Jake. I know the baby will love the attention. I’m just not ready for any of this. I’m scared.”
My show of vulnerability is so rare that it seems to catch Jake off guard. We’ve been friends for a long time, but I’ve never been one to open up about my insecurities.
He kneels beside me and takes my hand into his. “Lana and I are here for you. Whatever you need, just say the word.”
I feel the moisture gathering in my eyes and quickly blink it away. I have Jake’s support for now, but he doesn’t know my little secret about the baby’s father. When he finds out, I wonder if I will continue to have his support.
