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I wasn’t ready. Will Ieverbe ready to tell Olivia how I feel?

Chapter 21

Olivia

I barely saw Cole last night, after we returned to Sunrise Ranch. I had a meeting scheduled with Skye, to go over my article ideas and set up deadlines. He must have eaten outside by the fire, because I didn’t see him in the pavilion for dinner, either. And when I fell asleep last night, he wasn’t in his sleeping bag, over by the wood stove.

This morning he was already up and out the door by the time I woke up.

Now I’m getting dressed, trying to get ready for this big splashy argument we’re supposed to have at the breakfast buffet.

Blue watches me smooth Zero Frizz cream over my damp hair. “Tomorrow morning I’ll be able to use my hairdryer again,” I tell him.

As if that even matters.

I couldn’t care less about electricity right now, or what amenities I’ll get to use back in Silver Creek.

Tomorrow morning, I won’t wake up here, on Sunrise Ranch.

I won’t wake up knowing I’ll see Cole.

I wish my dating class came complete with a helpline. If it did, I’d do whatever it took to get myself to that nearby town and make a call in. Maybe Julienne Reed herself would pick up and walk me through, step-by-step, how to navigate my relationship with Cole.

But that class doesn’t come with a helpline, and I’m on my own.

I can’t even talk to Trent and Maggie about what’s going on, because I want them to use these last precious hours out here in the desert to get solid together. I won’t bother them about my own problems. This whole week was supposed to be about them, anyway.

I grimace down into my compact mirror and carefully apply a coat of ruby-red lipstick.What am I supposed to do about Cole?Nothing in that darn dating class feels helpful right now.

Not one reading assignment addressed what to do when fake kisses turn real.

Julienne’s class lectures didn’t cover goat searches that turn into overnights.

Or yurt-sharing, for that matter. For the past four days, I’ve lived in the same cramped quarters as Cole, and that must mean something when it comes to how this relationship is progressing.

But my class didn’t cover that…

I dust my eyelids with beige shimmer, all the while thinking about what I have learned about dating, from the class.

I know that it takes time to go through different stages of a relationship. There was a whole series of classes about that. One was all about that leap when you go from dating around to becoming exclusive.

I mean, I know that’s a big step.

I’m not dumb.

And yet, like a fool, yesterday afternoon I tried to pressure Cole into going there with me. To that “we’re exclusive” place. Aplace where it’s just me and him, like it was that night out in the desert canyon, by the fire.

Me and him, girlfriend, and boyfriend. That was pushy, needy, and dumb… and the exact reason why I’m the one-woman Olivia Show.

For all I know, this is all fun and games to him, a way to make this sentence of vegetarian-fueled yoga bearable. His face certainly tensed up, when I posed that idiotic question by his truck:‘What do you want, Cole?’His Adam’s Apple dipped low and bobbed back up as he swallowed. And he saidnothing. Not one thing. Not a peep. Because the question was out of line.

For normal relationships—those ones that don’t involve cozy sleepovers, fake kisses, and yin-yoga, for example—it can take weeks or months to move into becoming exclusive. Julienne’s constantly saying that it takes time to form relationships that can become long-lasting.

These things don’t happen overnight.

I tug on a pair of Keds and then stoop to kiss Blue on the top of the head. “No chewing, okay? I owe Skye big bucks for that hole you chewed, and we’re lucky she’s being nice about it. I’ll be back soon, okay? I just have to go grab some food and fight with Cole.”

Ugh.

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