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“I’m most of the way through the third book. Totally skimming the info, picking up what I can… Did you know the average dog can learn a hundred words and phrases?”
“Impressive.”
“Sort of. It’d be more impressive if Pansy taught him actual words. She has this whole crazy vocab she uses with him. When he’s doing something bad, she says ‘no-no.’ Going outside is called going for a ‘walky-walk.’”
“This is like a code or something. Pig Latin. Or should I say Piggy-Pig Latin-Latin?”
She laughs and passes me a brownie on a paper napkin. “You picked up on the method to her madness. Almost. But there’s more. For some things, she adds a twist: gibberish or baby talk. Here’s an example: When she wants him to lie down on his bed, she tells him it’s ‘big boy beddy time.’”
“Ah… the gibberish twist.”
“The gibberish twist,” she repeats. “I went from contemplating visual symbolism in films to speaking baby talk.”
“It could be worse. At least he’s house-trained, right?”
“Excellent point. My life has crumbled to bedrock, but at least I’m not mopping up urine puddles.”
“There’s always a silver lining.”
“Are you an optimist now or something?” She takes a bite of brownie and narrows her eyes, scrutinizing me. “The Nick I knew was never a ‘silver-lining’ guy.”
“I’m saying the normal thing. Trying to make you feel better.”
“Well, don’t try to be normal for me. I know you.”
“Youknewme.” My gut gets a little sharp feeling thinking that Maddison and I really didknoweach other all those years ago.
“No, Iknowyou. Once you know a person, you know them forever. Certain things never change. I bet you still brush your teeth after lunch.”
“It makes sense. Everyone should. It’s a meal, I’m around people, I brush.”
“Even if you haven’t eaten an odorous food, like canned sardines or shrimp dipped in horseradish sauce?” She says this and acts out shrimp dipping as if she is playing charades.
“Even then.” I reply, unable to keep my eyes off her.
“I think a stick of gum is a fine post-lunch ritual.”
“Agree to disagree. I think the two times a day teeth-brushing habit has a major fault. Convention also holds that we eatthreemeals a day. These numbers should match. Two, three. No. Three, three… there we go.”
She smirks. “There’s the Nick Landry I know.”
Outlaw cozies up beside me and sniffs my pant leg. Even though I’ve barely been home, he’s probably picking up on the scent of my cat, Mittens. I drape my hand over his head and give him a rub between the ears. “I think their sense of smell is forty times as good as human’s.”
“Is that right? No wonder he sniffs every freaking shrub when we go for a walky-walk.”
Her face lights up as she takes another bite. Then she closes her eyes, leans back, and gives a happy sigh. “Oh. Wow. Brownie heaven. I told you people don’t change. You’re still good at whipping up packaged foods in the kitchen. Is it weird that I like brownies from a mix better than from scratch?”
“It’s the preservatives. They’re delicious.”
“Sodelicious.” She laughs. “And I’m guessing you’re working with more than a microwave these days.”
“The microwave and panini-press combo served me well, but I have graduated.”
“Oven?”
“Yes, indeed.”
“Old, new?”
