AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Oh, way shy of that. Getting married in a stuffy office building, without telling my family, without even one friend around… that was what I agreed to. I guess, the thing is, sometimes it’s easier to lie to yourself. It’s… more convenient. A little more comfortable.”
I wrap my arm around her shoulder.
She leans against me. “I know I acted weird today. Maybe weirdly protective of you. I’m sorry if I screwed up your date. And I’m sorry if I’m sending mixed signals, too.”
“Hey, it takes two,” I tell her.
“The thing is, it’s nice knowing you again. Spending this time together. I’d hate to mess it up.”
“I know.” I rub her arm. She’s talking about the kiss we shared, all those years ago, and I get that.
This is the closest we’ve come to talking about it.
I want to tell her what an idiot I was.
How my father had fed me stories about his botched med school attempt for years, while I was growing up.
Every chance he got, once he found out I was interested in a career in medicine, he regaled me with the same story: He started dating Mom in undergrad. They fell in love. And then, his first year of medical school, she got pregnant.
With me.
He’d pat me on the shoulder, then look me in the eye.“You were a blessing in our life, son. Don’t get me wrong. I was proud to drop out to earn an income, take care of you and your mother. It was the right thing to do, and I’d do it again if I had to. Then your brothers came along, and I want you to know—I love each and every one of you. I always thought I’d go back to school, keep going after my dream. It never happened. Take it from me, son. If you want to be a doctor, school has to come first. Love can wait.”
Love can wait.
I thought about his words a lot that night after kissing Maddison.
It wasn’t easy to make up the thing about some other girl. I felt like I was swallowing sandpaper as I choked out the story of how I was going to ask out Tracey.
I remember how Maddison’s cheeks went ash white.“Tracey? Nick—maybe you should’ve told me this last night. Before…”
“I know, but I couldn’t. It happened so fast.”
“Too fast.”
“Too fast,”I’d agreed.
It wasn’t too fast, though. That was the thing. On some level, I’d been waiting for that kiss with Maddison for two entire semesters.
I remember how she swiped up her messenger bag off the study room chair and looped it over her shoulder.“You know what? I think I’m going to study in my room tonight.”
The door slammed closed behind her.
I stared at it.
Now, sitting here on my bed with Maddison leaned against me, I can still hear the bang, then the flap of the blinds nearby, swept in the gust of the door, settling back into place.
I rub Maddison’s arm a few more times. “We won’t mess up this time around,” I promise her.
“Good. Because I can only stand losing the perfect friend once in this lifetime. A second time might crush me. I’m not feeling tough enough to take that kind of a blow.”
“There’s never a good time to lose a friend.”
Behind us, Outlaw gives a long snore. His breath whistles on the exhale.
Maddison laughs. “Quite a snore, this one’s got.” She peels her head up off me and rotates so she’s facing them again. “Okay, I have to take pictures of this little love fest. Pansy willappreciate another update, I bet. And then, how about dinner? I made a mean mac ’n’ cheese in a casserole dish shaped like a crescent moon. I swear, that woman has the strangest taste. There are moons, stars, and planets everywhere, including the hand towels in the bathroom.”
“Strange, but consistent. Yeah, dinner sounds great, Maddie. I’m starving. After we eat, we should play a game.”
