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When I open my eyes again, the warm sun is fading and I realise I must have dozed off. Oh well, it can’t have been that long, I reach for my phone to check the time.
“Oh crap!” It’s been hours, literally hours, since I sat down. I never even drank my coffee, it’s stone cold. I have three missed calls and one text message all from Jack from two hours ago. I click on the message.
Jack:Mil, let me know you’re safe x
My heart melts and my stomach does a funny, twisty, fuzzy thing, it makes me feel… NO, I’m not going there. I squish the feeling back down, and put it to the back of my mind. Taking a deep breath, I reply to him.
Me:I’ve not gone far, still in the hotel actually.
Me:Well, I did go back to my apartment to get my case...but I’ve been back for ages, and don’t worry, I took a taxi, I didn’t walk this time.
Jack:Where are you?
Straight to the point… well if he is not up for a chat, he can wait. I’ve had such a nice afternoon. I have enthusiasm about what I want to do, no one will stop me this time, and I certainly won’t let a man get in my way.
Me:Not telling you, you will spoil my vibe!
Jack:I’ll find you.
Now that statement has me a little excited. It’s strange, I can feel myself becoming me again already. As bad as things are here, with the very little money I have, a shit apartment, no furniture, and a broken rib, which also means I can’t work for a while,damn it, how has that only just occurred to me,I won’t even get sick pay, shit…but it’s so much better than how it was! I’m free, I’ve made these decisions, me on my own. Just that thought gives me a sense of almost peace.
I sit back and close my eyes again. I’ll figure the money stuff out, I always do. My thoughts drift to Jack and how different he is from Glen. I have a feeling he would do anything for me, protect me, nothing like what Glen did, he nearly killed me. I can’t let myself go there with Jack. I want to, I want to see if my memories and dreams are right, I want to feel him, touch him and get lost in him again. But I’m not sure I can let anyone in. It hurts too much to even think about what Glen did to me. I loved him, and he… I shake my head at the thought, what if Jack… tears spring to my eyes, and spill over and I let them fall. That pain will never go away.
“Millie, what’s wrong?” I know it’s him. It sounds so good, a deep rumble that melts my insides. I feel that pull, deep in my heart, pulling me from my thoughts. I wipe my tears away with the back of my hand and open my eyes. I don’t want him to know how weak I was, that I couldn’t fight back. I just look at him, I don’t know what to say.
When he sits down beside me I want to curl up next to him, pretend what Glen did never happened.
“Tell me Mil, I want to help you,” he says, wrapping my hand in his. I still don’t speak;how do you tell someone your ex-boyfriend did horrible things to you… so much so it almost killed you?I wouldn’t know where to start, so I don’t, I change the subject.
“How did you find me? This place is huge!” I can tell he is annoyed that I have changed the subject, but it’s my story, and if I do decide to tell it, it will be when I’m ready.
“I thought I would try my favourite spot first, turns out you like it too!” His eyes are searching mine for answers; I can’t look away, his eyes have me locked in place.
“I’ve got the rest of the day off, would you like to do something?” His smile makes me want him even more. It’s like I’m constantly contradicting myself; my mind says no, while my body says yes please, take me now! I don’t know what to do. It terrifies me to think that someone could dothatto me again, I can’t handle that though, not a relationship.
“Okay, I have a great idea, fancy watching a movie? I’ve not seen one in ages.”
“Sure, I’ll book us some tick...” I cut him off.
“I don’t mean go out, I mean from the sofa, with popcorn, chocolate, and wine.”
As much as I want to go to the cinema, the thought of being in a dark room with this man beside me has me wanting to do more than just watch a film. I mean just look at him… those deep blue eyes, looking at me like he wants it just as much as I do. The first few buttons of his shirt are undone, showing just the smallest hint of toned, tanned chest. If I could just slide my fingers in and open up his shirt and feel his skin on mine… he is even wearing a tailored suit, showing off his broad shoulders and chest, his muscular arms and rock-hard thighs. His hair is tied back in that man-bun, wow, letting out a sigh, I hope I will have some good dreams tonight. There are not many men that get away with it, but he just looks godlike. Strong, masculine, and fucking sexy as hell.
I may have been staring for a while because he clears his throat, looking at me. He gets that small smile on his face that I remember so well, and it does crazy things to my insides. I takea deep breath in, trying to rid the thoughts of jumping on him, kissing those lips and…
I immediately turn a deep shade of red when he laughs and moves his hand to my thigh, making small circles with his fingers, edging further up my thigh just a little, sending waves of electricity through me. Oh my god, I almost explode with pleasure. My eyes flutter closed for a millisecond, that feeling runs up my leg right to my core. He lets out a deep sigh and moves his hand away. I can’t help but feel a loss, I can still feel where his hand was on me, all I want him to do is touch me again.
“Movies on the sofa sound good to me,” he says,maybe it was not such a good idea, I’m not sure I can control myself.
“What are we watching?” he says and I have no idea,
“I don’t know, you can choose,” leaving the decision to him.
“Really… you want to watch this, I thought you would have been an action guy?” I can’t help but laugh at his movie choice. It’s definitely not what I would have picked, a cheesy romcom with Sandra Bullock in it. But it was his choice.
“Hey, you said it was up to me, and this is what I want to watch. Next time you can choose.”
When we got back, he took my things to his room and insisted I stay there, saying it was the better bed, and I’d be more comfortable, but surely the beds are the same? It’s a hotel, and it means he will have to stay in the spare room when all his stuff is in here. I’ll move my things to the spare room tomorrow when he goes to work.
