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When he’d shared those words with her, his green eyes bright and his dimples pronounced, she’d been an awkward seventeen-year-old who was scared of her skin.
With a soft sigh, she lingered on his memory. It was worn from the frequency with which she visited it. What was he doing now? Had he reached the greatness he thought was possible in her, or was he fumbling his way through job interviews too? Her life had changed dramatically, and his life probably had too. But she couldn’t forget why they had stopped speaking. The time for explanation and reminiscing was long gone. He was the one that got away, the one she’d never forget.
Be the exception.He’d said that to her the weekend she fell in love with him.
Lucie glanced in the mirror, grateful that calm had returned. All the hallmarks of a dirty train station bathroom reflected back at her. Chipped ceramic and stained lino were no distraction from her lousy day. A patheticpfftsound came from above, and now a spray of air freshener mingled with the urine smell that lingered longer than the passengers washing their hands.
Her phone vibrated with another call. But it wasn’t Emma again. It was Bradley, her soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, once she built up the courage to dump him.
Her shoulders slumped, and a bit more of her heart broke away. Was this her future? Pointless conquests and meaningless connections? She gritted her teeth and gathered the courage to ditch him for good.
Chapter Two
“Hey, babe. Are we still on for the Sidings Inn in an hour?” Bradley yammered. He was barely a footnote in her story. “I might have to change the time. I’ve got a bigger priority. No offence.”
She didn’t expect him to wish her good luck for the interview, but did he remember that’s where she’d been? The sooner he was out of her life, the better.
“I’d like to meet if possible because I’ve got stuff to tell you,” she replied.
“Okay. I can change her—I mean it, the meeting. Cool, cool.” He was sleeping with someone else. He told her that week that he and Lucie were in an open relationship. When did she agree to that? Surely, the dumping was unnecessary? “Make sure there’s a pint waiting for me when I arrive, yeah. I get proper thirsty around you.”
His laugh reminded her she should have dumped him before last night. When would she get past this issue of confronting people, especially men?
“Sure,” she replied sarcastically. “I bet you’ll want me to buy you lunch too.”
“You know it, babes, although I’d rather chow down on you.”
Her breakfast would have been threatening to splash on her interview shoes in a vomit explosion had she eaten any.
“Got to go, Bradley. Noisy trains.” She hung up instantly. Emma’s statement about wasting her twenties with Bradley hit hard. Every relationship in Lucie’s twenties had been a waste of time. Was it because she picked the wrong guys, or was she incapable of genuine relationships?
Earlier in the week, Lucie had Googled the best places to dump someone in the city, not believing she’d have the strength to do it anyway. The Sidings pub was big enough that they couldfind a quietish corner but sufficiently public to stop him from suggesting break-up sex as a goodbye. Not that he’d dare. Now that the interview was done, she needed to rip off the plaster. As soon as lunch was over, they would be too. Wouldn’t they? And even if they were, what then? Was she doomed to repeat her relationship mistakes because the only man she’d loved was from a teenage holiday or because her dad was an arsehole?Maybe I’m a failure.When she was at her most anxious and vulnerable, that voice appeared. It sounded a lot like her dad.
At least she had no chance of getting the job. She could have been living in the same city as Bradley. She’d wanted to move to Bristol for the opportunity to live somewhere that brought back memories of the good parts of her childhood and the chance to rewrite history as an adult in control of her destiny.
She was fond of this place where she and Emma once lived. But now, Lucie wanted to drink in bars after work with her new colleagues while adult strangers zoomed past on scooters. She longed to sit by the harbour as the sun set, to pop by a different street festival every Saturday, to laugh in hipster places where you’d eat sweet potato fries while playing overpriced table tennis. And in the city, there would be more men popping up on her Bumble account. Surely, they weren’t all as ridiculous as Bradley?
Chris hadn’t been like Bradley.But you knew him for one weekend eight years ago, and he was eighteen.The voice of inner judgement appeared again. Her memory of Chris sprung up repeatedly no matter who she was dating. Lucie had shared more of herself with him than with anyone since. That was what holiday romances were—a chance to be someone else or, in her case, the opportunity to be your authentic self with another person for the first time. She’d chosen not to hide the version of herself that was totally her.
There was another reason she wanted to move back to Bristol, and it was something she hadn’t breathed to anyone. Chris lived here. Lucie had admitted it late at night after a couple of glasses of wine and, even then, only to herself. They may have met on holiday and had never seen each other again, but they grew up in the same city. She’d moved away not long after they met, but they never spent time together again beyond the forest holiday park.
There was a possibility he still lived here. It was ridiculous that there could be anything between them now, but what if they met again? Would it be like a Netflix love story or a rose-tinted memory where he couldn’t remember who she was? Lucie shuddered at the thought of an embarrassing rejection. She and Chris once had something special, but it had been so long ago.
A gaggle of teenage girls filled the toilet. Lucie paused before squeezing out the door. Their high-pitched voices bounced off the worn tiles as they chatted about dating and makeup. Thank God those awkward years were over, especially with things like TikTok around now.
As she reached for the door, one of the girl’s T-shirts caught her eye. Sequins in a rainbow of colours glinted from the top. A flash of memory hit Lucie hard. The Forest Café. Lucie had loved the café as a teenager and often visited it when she wanted time out from the busyness of the city. The ceiling resembled the night sky, and fake trees were positioned around the place. Sounds of a rainforest accompanied the space. The hidden location and the unusual décor meant it didn’t get many customers, but it kept going somehow. Chris had talked about it too, and they joked about meeting up there one day.
Maybe it was the memory of those beautiful green eyes she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about since she’d arrived in Bristol that morning or because she was back at the station with an hour to kill. Or maybe she wanted to be somewhere that oncebrought her joy. Pushing through the door out of the toilet, she made her decision. Hopefully, the café still existed, and she’d be able to look up at the stars.
Maybe her special booth would be free too. Once a day, around lunchtime, rainbows would appear on the table of her special booth. Lucie hadn’t deduced what was on or around the table that made this special effect appear, but on sunny days, magic would happen.
The crowds in the station reduced during the lull between trains. With a sweep of her head, Lucie spotted the exit that led towards the café.
If she got the job, she might be walking past this station daily. Even when jammed with people, the commuter hot spot didn’t faze her. The near anxiety attack was more about the death of her dreams than the busyness of the station. But the chances of getting the graphic designer role at Morphosis were impossible now, which also meant taking that crappy job in Glasgow at Invo. Today was her last chance to see if the rainbow still appeared on the table.
With a sigh, she brushed the back of her fingers across her tattoo and left the station. Slipping down a side alley, she thought about Chris again. Things had ended painfully between them, and yet, when university made her question her hopes, or when she was at her lowest after visiting her dad, she’d find the money to visit the café. She’d wait until her rainbow booth was free and fantasize about Chris, filling her head with ridiculous hopes that she’d bump into him. At her lowest, she longed to be the version of herself he brought out. Lucie hadn’t been back to the café in years.
“It’s still here.” She gasped as the familiar green sign came into view. As soon as she stepped through the door of the Forest Café, the lure of roasting coffee beans hit her. There were changes; they sold alcohol now. Thank goodness, because todaycalled for something a lot stronger than coffee. Other additions included a tank full of tropical fish in the middle of the room. There were fewer trees, and the sounds of catcalling monkeys had gone. The décor was a mess, but as she leant her head back, she smiled. The stars were still on the ceiling, glinting, reminding her of life’s possibilities.
