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“He caused this,” she said from the middle of the group. It was as if she was suffocating from judgement. It forced her anger higher as her tears, a combination of the sand, her rage, and shame continued to flow. “I should have known it was you.”
Lucie glared at him as her body shook. Everyone on the beach was watching now. They’d spend the whole weekend knowing she was the one who freaked out. They were probably whispering about her too. Her throat was tightening up again, and although she was burning hot, chills criss-crossed through her body.
Chris motioned for the teenagers to step away. “I’ll sort this out, don’t worry. Thanks for letting me play footy with you.”
They all nodded and mumbled “no worries” and “anytime” as they stepped away. The tallest girl stayed a little longer. She attempted to threaten Lucie with her wide-eyed stance and crossed arms. But Lucie’s anxiety was snowballing.
It was humiliating. Lucie closed her eyes and tried to block everything, making the anxiety worse.
When she opened her eyes, the girl was gone, but Chris remained in his long shorts and bright blue T-shirt.
“It’s okay; take deep breaths.” He leaned in as if to hold her shoulders, but she flinched away.
“Get away from me,” she grunted under her breath. “I should have listened to Jess and stayed away from you. You’re trouble.”
She grabbed her bag and walked across the sand, but he was next to her within moments.
“What does that mean? You don’t know me, and you don’t get to say I’m trouble. I only kicked a bloody ball. And who the hell is Jess?” He glared.
“My sister and her friend, Jess, have met you. We’re from Bristol too. You have a reputation,” she accused him between clenched teeth.
“You don’t know anything about me other than I’m a shit footballer and that I can get sand out of someone’s eyes. My pleasure, by the way,” he added sullenly.
“How dare you turn this around on me.” Lucie fumbled in her pockets for her ear buds. She needed to drown him and everyone else out with her music. “Where are my earphones and my drawing pad?”
In her haste, she’d left most of her stuff where she’d sat. That was the issue with an impending anxiety attack; all other thoughts disappeared. Lucie and Chris turned to find seagulls pecking at her stuff.
Before she could decide what to do, Chris ran down the beach, flapping his arms and shouting at the gulls, “Get away from her stuff, get away!” He gave impressions of their screeches.
Laughter broke free from between her lips as Chris danced and shouted and shooed without any fear of how he looked or the attention he was getting. It was weird to go from anxiety to anger to laughter within a couple of minutes, but the spectacle in front of her was one she’d never imagined. She’d neverwitnessed the cool kids at her school do anything like this. Chris didn’t care. Maybe the change in moods was due to relief too. At least she hadn’t had a full-blown anxiety attack.
The gulls flew to the skies, squawking their annoyance, or maybe they were congratulating Chris on his good shooing skills. He flopped down on the beach and brushed the sand from her earphones as she joined him, needing a rest after her intense emotions.
Chris reached for her drawing pad, but she snatched it away and slammed it closed. He’d almost seen that she’d drawn him!
They sat in silence for a couple of minutes as she gripped her pad tightly. What was she suppose to say to hot guys? He was still trouble, and she shouldn’t be talking to him. Emma and Jess would be annoyed, and he had that girlfriend or ex-girlfriend.
“You can say thanks, by the way,” he grunted.
“For getting sand in my face?” she replied just as quickly before covering her mouth with her hand. Why did she say that? She never said what she thought. “Sorry and thank you.”
His laughter surprised her. “Yeah, sorry about that. I tried to show off to those kids and got a bit carried away. I didn’t mean to get you in the face. At least it means I got to talk to you.”
What did that mean? Why were her limbs suddenly heavy? Her throat felt dry like sandpaper, and her stomach tightened. Although there were similarities to what had happened moments before and a week ago at the mention of her university application, it wasn’t an anxiety attack.
Breathe, for fuck’s sake.
“Oh, cool,” she replied blankly. “And I didn’t mean to kick off. It’s fine. It’s just…” It was what? It was just she was a massive weirdo when around people and was scared she might be having an anxiety attack? She forced a deep breath into her lungs.
“It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have kicked off either, but I’m not trouble. I’m not.” He paused, then shook himself. “Are we cool?”
“Yeah,” she said quietly. What should she say to him? He was popular and hot, and she was the one people avoided sitting with at lunchtime.
Chris replied, standing, “I should go. I’m sorry.”
Even with the things Emma and Jess had told her, Lucie still wanted him close. “No, it’s okay. Besides, what will I do if the seagull comes back? They might try and take my bag next time,” she joked, trying to hide all the thoughts spiralling through her brain. “I can be a bit of a freak sometimes, and I’m sorry I said you were trouble.” Lucie shrugged. She’d discarded her pad to her side in the hope he hadn’t noticed it before holding her hand out and patting the air to encourage him to sit back down. He sighed, and she struggled to conceal her smile as his eyebrows arched above his sunglasses.
“I can be a freak too, which is obvious. But being a freak isn’t always a bad thing,” Chris said as he sat back down and stared at the water. Neither of them spoke for a while. Lucie followed the sounds of the children playing nearby. Little children in mismatched swimming costumes and sunhats with ruffles showed their sandcastle creations to their mums. Radiant smiles eclipsed their bright faces. Meanwhile, the mums clapped and cheered with genuine excitement before grabbing their hands and dancing down the beach to the water with them. There was something about a beach that brought out the joy in everyone.
